Welcome back to the Mynagirl Fashion report, resurrected after many years on hiatus!!  Baby Bootsie has been sleeping peacefully this evening, so I’ve been able to have a nip and quip at the fashion for the 2010 Emmys.  Thanks much to technical crew Engineerboy for giving us these gorgeous images armed with only a remote, a capture card, and some great timing.

Ladies in Nude

Pale neutrals and golds were a definite trend.

Gugu Mbatha-Raw	Mariska Hargitay
Jewel in Zuhair Murad	Claire Danes in Armani Privé
Claire Danes wears the serious sequins

Sofia Vergara from Modern Family brightens the trend a little with a golden yellow Carolina Herrera.  Engineerboy liked that the beadwork looked like the human genome project.

Sofia Vergara in Carolina Herrera

Golden girl

Glenn Close and her daughter wore matching pale patchwork-y dresses that looked like but presumably weren’t vinyl

Glenn Close and her daughter Annie in matching Rubin Singer

Heavy Hardware

There were a couple Greco-Roman looks, some more successful than not.   I have to say, while I like the cut of Kim Kardashian’s Marchesa column, it’s not very flattering on her. Update – I have become a convert of this dress after seeing some better camera angles on it.  I think Kim looks very statuesque and classic.

Kim Kardashian in a white grecian column

Kim Kardashian in Marchesa

Cool of newlywed Anna Paquin to honor and wear Alexander McQueen, but the gown is better up top than on bottom.  Honestly, it looks a bit like she accidentally tucked the hem into her pantyhose.

The Moyers

Anna Paquin in her Alexander McQueen

And I have no idea who this is (gasp.. should I?  Usually my trashy magazine reading serves me so well), but this is a fugly nightmare of a look on her.  The hair is messy, the dress is all over the place, and she’s so bony.  Do not like.

Hot White Grecian Mess

In the Navy

Dark midnight blue was definitely a trend.  I’m sure a lot of these dresses look great in person but they’re nearly as boring as black on camera.  At least some of the shapes were nice.

Lea Michelle in Oscar de la Renta

Jane Krakowski

Julie Bowen in a navy column

Purple People-Eaters

Emily Deschanel in purple ruffles

Emily Deschanel in purple

Christina Hendricks looks like a refugee from Dancing with the Stars in her maribou-adorned lilac mermaid gown.  Oh it’s Zac Posen, that’s why I don’t like it…

Christina Hendricks from Mad Men showing some serious skin (and what's underneath)

Jane Lynch is a little more pulled together in amethyst taffeta:

Jane Lynch, supporting actress nominee in an amethyst one-shouldered gown by Ali Rahimi

Lovely taffeta shape

Classic (or Boring) Black

Boy were there a lot of boring black dresses.

Carrie Ann Inaba in black

Black Tea Length Taffeta and Tulle

..and another black dress

...and another. Kate Gosselin also in black.

Eva Longoria spruces up her basic black column with chandelier earrings and an athlete as her accessories.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker

Edie Falco wears YAOSBD, yet another one-shouldered black dress.  Yawn.

Edie Falco in black

Statement Jewelry

I especially loved a lot of the statement jewelry at the Emmys.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus rocks the green earrings (chrysoprase perhaps?)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Padma Lakshmi wears a great glittery column necklace

Padma Lakshmi and her statement necklace

Glittery column necklace

Jewel wears some cool large earrings

Jewel in her Jacob & Co jeweled earrings

Lea Michelle’s collar necklace is out of this world!!

Lea Michelle's amazing collar necklace

... and an extreme closeup

Although not my absolute favorite, KK’s big bracelet was pretty fun as well.

Kim K rocks some criss-crossy diamond bling

Julia Ormond is safe from evil laser-wielding bad guys with her gilted Wonder Woman cuffs.

Laser-deflecting goodness!!

Hmmm, we wish you hadn’t

Keri Russell chose vintage and it just didn’t flatter her unfortunately. I want to like it because it wasn’t boring black but wow, it just didn’t fit at all.

Keri Russell in ill-fitting vintage

yeah... no...

January Jones sports the rocker chick black nail polish with a truly unflattering Versace.  It kinda looks like diner seating.  Or plastic plates.  Or the liner to an above-ground pool.

January Jones in Versace

January Jones in that keerazy Versace

Commentator Maria Menounous wore a glittery thing that looks… at first glance… kind of pretty.  Then she turns around.  She makes sure to turn around.

Maria Menounous...

...wears a...

... really backless dress

Lauren Graham sports a truly shapeless dress.  Wow, not doin’ it for her.  And you can’t even say it probably looked better on the hanger, that thing’s a drapey mess no matter what it’s hanging on.

Lauren Graham in shapeless color blocking

Related posts:

1. Golden Globes Fashion Report 2004
2. Oscar Fashion 2007 – The Mynagirl Fashion Report for the 79th Annual Academy Awards
3. Mynagirl’s Fashion Report on the 56th Emmy Awards, September 2004

I still *want* to love you, but you're losing me

Dear TiVo,

I read two articles recently that spurred me to write you this letter.  The first article described how at the end of July 2009 you had 3.05 million subscribers, but at the end of July 2010 you were down to 2.38 million.  Five years ago this would have surprised me, but not any more.

The second article was from your site, describing the spiffy new QWERTY TiVo remote with a sliding face and a full keyboard.  I was overjoyed by the news, as I’ve been waiting for a remote like this since I bought and activated my first TiVo back in 2002.  I read the article in great anticipation, wondering how pricey the remote would be.  Hm, $90.  Not unreachable, but seemingly a little steep, which would make it in keeping with everything else you sell.

But then I got to the last paragraph, where the last sentence read:

“The new remote will work with TiVo Premiere, Premiere XL, TiVo Series3, TiVo HD, and TiVo HD XL boxes.”

No Series 1?  No Series 2 or Dual-Tuner?  Leaving us faithful early adopters behind again, are we?

Typical.  This is typical of everything I have come to expect from you over the years.  I still love TiVo-the-technical-solution, but with TiVo-the-company I have gone from love to like to not caring to being annoyed and, finally, to loathing, where I am today.

I now own and use 5 (count ‘em) TiVos, but they are all Series 2.  My disillusionment began in earnest when you released the Series3 boxes, and included things like YouTube browsing that were not made available to Series2 owners.  Now, you had a story for why this was so, which was something about Flash, I think, but I didn’t (and still don’t) buy it.  If you had wanted to make it work, you could have.   But, you chose to have those features and functions be differentiators to try and get Series2 owners to upgrade.

So close, and yet so far away

And it’s continued to be that way over the years, up through the latest insult of not letting us have the new remote (pictured at left).  You continue to add new and improved features and functions, very few of which are made available to your existing base of owners, unless they have the latest and greatest.  Now, I understand this from a business perspective, as I work in technology, so I know that it’s hard to keep the installed base happy.  It’s very easy to add new features and functions to totally new and redesigned devices, and your bean-counters are happy to see the R&D and other expenses that go into anything that will grab new customers and dollars.

I can visualize the meetings where you discussed the strategy of what to do with the installed base.  Spending money on something that will make the installed base happier is not a strategy that reaps short-term benefits, so it’s difficult for people to get behind it and make those investments.  Conversely, it’s much easier to talk about investing in the new model with the new features that will open up new markets and bring in new customers and new revenues.  *Everybody* can get behind that, and nobody gets fired for trying to grow the business.

But people do get fired for spending money on things that are difficult to quantify, like the care and feeding of existing customers.  However, the sign of a truly successful company is that they do exactly that.  It’s like flossing your teeth.  If I don’t floss today, nothing bad really happens.  If I don’t floss this month, or even this year, there may be no noticeable negative impact from my perspective. 

But if I never floss?  Eventually I’ll start losing my teeth.  And teeth, like customers, are things that, once you’ve neglected them to the point that you lose them, you never get them back.  Well TiVo, you haven’t been flossing, and you have decayed my loyalty as a customer to the point where now I hope that some viable alternative presents itself, so that I can leave you behind.

The good news, for you, is that the technology of the TiVo is awesome.  Usability is great, and you have features and functions that far outstrip anything that the cable companies offer.  However, from my cable company I can get an HD DVR for $5/month with no other out-of-pocket expense.  With you I’d have to spend $300-$500 to get the new TiVo Premiere, and then cough up another $300 for lifetime service, or $11/month for the monthly services.  Your DVR is far better than the one my cable company offers, but the three year cost for a TiVo Premiere for me would be $800, while the three year cost for my cable company’s DVR would be $180.

Not only are you more than four times more expensive, but you only have a one-year warranty, so if my TiVo has a problem in year 2 or 3 it falls to me to fix it out of my own pocket.  My cable company will send me a replacement box at no cost if their DVR has problems.

So, with TiVo I get a slicker product but at over 4 times the cost, and I also have to assume the risk of repair costs after the first year.  You’re good, but you’re not that good.  So, for the first time in eight years I am open to an alternative.  I don’t think it’s out there, yet, but if I’m ready and willing to move away from TiVo that means there are others like me who are, too.

I do hope that you figure out how to survive, and how to offer your products at a far more reasonable cost.  I know that cable companies are licensing your software to put on their set-top boxes, and I can see this being a way for you to survive.  My hope is that you are able to maintain the full feature set when provided by a cable company, because I can see them wanting you to disable or degrade certain functions so that they maintain control of their user base.  Don’t do that, please?

And I think one thing that has become clear over time is that your subscription fees are poisoning your business model.  Either make me buy the device with a huge up-front cash outlay *or* charge me a monthly fee, but don’t do both.  For a $500 up-front purchase price you should be able to provide the programming information at no additional charge.  If you don’t want to do that, then let me get the box for $10-$15/month and no up-front fee, and back it with an ongoing warranty just like my cable company does.  I’d do that in a heartbeat – get a TiVo Premiere for nothing up front and $15/month?  Sweet.  How about doing that?

But, after 8 years I feel that I know you well enough to know that you won’t do either of those things, because it appears that your corporate culture is too hide-bound to consider those alternatives.  Somebody, somewhere has decided that a monthly subscription fee needs to apply, and the huge up-front purchase price needs to apply, and that’s that.  If you have to have a monthly fee, how about making it something reasonable, like $5/month/household, and it doesn’t matter how many TiVo’s I have?

I’m rooting for you, but only a little bit.  I used to care about you, but now I don’t, because you’ve spent 8 years not caring about me.  I wish you good luck, and I hope you figure out a way to survive.  But, if you don’t, I will no longer be among those who mourn your passing, because while you had great engineering, your business side sucks.  How about listening to your engineers, who I’m sure have been trying to tell your business folks all of this all along?

But, no, conventional wisdom says that engineers don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to business.  Er, except for Google, that is.  And Microsoft.  Oh, and HP, too. 

But, what do they know?

Sincerely,

EngineerBoy

Related posts:

1. Review of Amazon Unbox for TiVo
2. Review of the Westinghouse 47″ LCD HDTV (TX-47F430S)
3. EngineerBoy’s Review of the Litter-Robot

Typical US Airline Flight

I loathe and despise coach business air travel.  When I travel personally, it’s usually with Marie, and we usually plan to make sure we can travel in comfort.  You see, I’m 6’5″ and not svelte, and coach seating is not designed for me to fit in comfortably, and when we travel for pleasure we either wait until we can splurge on first class, buy a third seat so we have room, or make the best of sitting side-by-side.

However, when one’s company is footing the bill and you don’t have the flexibility that you do with personal travel, you get the seat you get and you have to make the best of it.  You can try for exit row or bulkhead, but those seats are in demand and sometimes hard to get.

Lucky for me, on my most recent business flight I was able to get the exit row aisle seat both outbound and inbound.  The flight out progressed without incident (thankfully), but as I boarded my flight home and approached my row, I noticed that the two inside seats were occupied by a couple, with the man by the window and the woman in the middle seat, meaning that my aisle seat would place me next to the wife.

Now, although I am a big guy, I can sit in such a way that I stay completely in my own air/leg/shoulder/butt space, particularly in an exit row where I can fully extend my legs.  So, I resolved myself to spend 3.5 hours in my polite, curled up, as-motionless-as-possible seating pose, so that the lady next to me would not feel infringed upon.

As I sat down I could sense the woman was not happy about the situation…I mean, who would be?  Even three normal-sized humans sitting side-by-side-by-side in a coach cabin is oppressively claustrophobic, and when one of the three is a big guy like me it just makes it worse.  So, I understood her pained look at her husband as I sat down, and also understood his reassuring patting of her leg as if to say, “It’s okay, honey, I won’t let the traveling ogre squash you!”

So, I sat down, belted up, stuck my legs up under the seat in front of me, crossed at the ankles to keep my knees clearly in my own airspace and not in any way crossing over into her leg space.  I folded my arms tightly, with the arm closest to the woman specifically tucked up as far as possible, so that I was clearly not infringing on her shoulder room, either.

I had also brought a couple of magazines to read, and when I pulled them out I held them with my arms almost fully extended in my lap, and when I turned the pages I did it with my arms fully extended so that my elbows didn’t bend and momentarily reduce her personal airspace.  I also fully ceded the armrest to the wife so that she wasn’t too squeezed-feeling.  Note that this is what I always do when I travel seated next to anybody but Marie, as I know that my large-tallness could be a burden to other fliers.

So, there I am, a big guy squeezed into a seat that isn’t designed for me, but contorted in such a way that I did not in any way cross over into the seating space of the woman next to me.  On most flights similar to this, that would be the story – me contorted and uncomfortable, but otherwise flying without incident.

Well, not this flight.  At first, everything was fine, or as fine as it can be in a coach sardine can.  However, I then noticed that the woman, who was 5’5″ at best (and slender), had not only taken to sitting with her legs crossed, but crossed in such a way that they were crossed *towards* me, and not only that, crossed at an angle so that her foot was clearly extending over into *my* airspace.  Really?!

I mean, she could have either a) easily not crossed her legs in such a manner that they floated into the legroom of the person next to her, or b) if she had to cross her legs in such a manner, at least do it in the direction of her husband.  He, presumably, would mind a lot less than me, and he was maybe 5’8″ himself, so had plenty of leg room.

So her border aggression was pretty irritating, but I again took the stance that although she was being rude, I was still partially to blame for the uncomfortableness of the situation, given my height/size.  In fact, I realized there might be a chance that she didn’t even realize what she was doing, and might have been subconsciously making sure to command her space, or something.  So, I tried to let go of the irritation.

Then she picked up her book to read.  And with almost every page flip, she elbowed me in the ribs.  Only a little but clearly enough that she knew she was doing it.  I’ll again state that I was very clearly completely on my side of the seat divider, and had ceded the armrest.  But, this wasn’t enough for her, so she had to come past the armrest with each page turn and elbow me, even though she could easily have turned the page in a much less elbowic manner.

So, that’s how the flight progressed.  Me sitting in such a way that I was contorted and remaining 100% on my side of the leg/air space of the seats, and her dangling her foot into my space and elbowing me when she turned her book pages.

W…T…F?

I resolved to just accept that I was flying next to a selfish, thoughtless human being, and although I found her behavior to be quite rude I still realized that me being a big guy contributed to the situation.  I’m already stressed out enough when I travel for business, so I didn’t need to also marinate in a stew of bilious resentment towards the high-riding b*tch sitting next to me.

So, to the extent possible, I let it go and tried to relax…relax…relax…(rib poke)……relax…let it go…deep breaths…(leg kick)……………relax, dammit!!

And I did, I kept my cool and tried to get along as part of a society.  Eventually I fell asleep.  Note that this was done by fully extending my legs under the set in front of me, tightly crossing my arms in front of me, and lolling my head to the side away from Ms. Prissy Pants.  And so I dozed off a couple of times like that, as comfortably as possible, but I’d nod off for a few minutes, wake back up (still fully balled up and not infringing her in any way), read some more, then go back to sleep.

During one of my bouts of sleeping, I was startled awake by the husband, let’s call him Mr. Prissy Pants, full-on kicking me in the legs as he tripped over me trying to climb over me to get out and go to the restroom.  He not only kicked me, he kicked his wife, and half-fell into the aisle, clumsily grabbing the back of somebody else’s seat across the aisle and startling them awake, too.  Now, through this flight I hadn’t slept for more than 10 minutes at a stretch, so it’s not like he had been blocked in by my long sleep cycle or anything.  I’m also not deaf so they could have easily asked me to move, and the wife obviously had no social compunctions about elbowing me already, so she could have elbowed me awake and asked me to move.

But no, he decided to try to climb over me, a sleeping, 6’5″ guy wedged into his seat as tightly as possible, and then clumsily tripping and kicking me, and waking me up and also waking up the guy across the aisle.

His polite response to this?  “Goddam it…fucking…shit…”

That’s it.  Then he stomped off down the aisle to the restroom.  No apology for a) kicking me and waking me up, b) waking up the guy across the aisle, or c) being stupid/rude enough to try to climb over me in the first place.  I assume there was no apology for kicking the wife because she was already used to his rudeness, or something.

At this point I did get sort of a pained smile from the wife, which I took to be contrite, but nothing more than that.  Also, she then immediately started shifting and squirming in her seat, like a 2 year old that has to go potty but doesn’t say so.  I finally asked her, very politely, “Would you also like to get out?”.  She said no, but she *clearly* needed to get up and go to the bathroom, too.  So I said, “Well, I was going to stretch my legs anyway, so feel free…”, and with that I got up and moved forward in the aisle to clear a path.  She immediately shot out of there and down the aisle.

I stood stretching my legs until they were both back in their seats.  I got nothing from the husband, no ‘thank you’, no ‘sorry’, not even eye contact.  Punk.

When the wife came back, she at least said a quiet little “thanks” with a pained smile.  But that was it, and sullen silence the rest of the flight.  The only good news was no more rib poking or leg kicking occurred.

I also noticed that, other than a logistical conversation as we were leaving (something like “where are the headphones?”, or something), the couple barely spoke a word to each other, although both were awake the whole flight, as far as I could tell.

So, maybe this couple was having some other problems, unrelated to air travel, that exacerbated the situation and/or their behaviors.  Maybe.  However, my gut feeling is that they were just a couple of rude, self-centered assholes who saw me as nothing more than an inconvenient lump that was further harshing their stonily silent travel.

At this point, I’d also like to make sure that the airlines get their fair share of the blame here.  You see, they already know what size seats are comfortable for the cross-section of normal travelers – just look at the chairs in the gate area.  The seats at the gate are by no means over-sized, but they are pretty much normal-sized, meaning that all of us waiting around for our flights can do so in relative comfort.

Now, I understand that I’m way over on the right-hand side of the bell curve when it comes to human sizing, and I don’t expect that airlines are going to make every seat large enough for me to be comfortable in.  But, what I would like, and what they could do with minimal effort in my opinion, is to offer slightly larger seats for slightly more money.  I, and I assume many, many, many other travelers, would happily pay an extra 25% for a seat that was 25% larger. 

However, today the only option is to pay anywhere from 4 to 10 times the ticket price to get a First Class seat, which by my reckoning is about 25% larger than Coach.  That’s ludicrous.  The airlines have scrunched and scrunched coach seating until it’s finally at the point where even normal-sized humans can barely travel without extraordinary discomfort.

Another option is to retrofit airplanes with offset seating.  Today, seats are configured side by side in a line, so that the part of most humans that is widest (shoulders) are lined up, creating the least amount of room between passengers.  However, it’s possible to slightly change the arrangement of seats so that each seat is slightly offset from the other, meaning that each passengers shoulder goes behind (or in front of) the shoulder of the person sitting next to them.

More seats, more room, more comfort, more privacy. Come on, airlines!

Although it would be hard to prove, and I doubt there is such a thing as a retroactive patent, I have conjured this seating arrangement up on my own in my head over the years as I have spent countless hours contemplating the horror of US coach air travel (whilst traveling, of course).  When I started writing this rant, I did some web research and found that this type of seating arrangement is already commercially available.  The picture to the left is from the website of Thompson Solutions, for example.

First, I have to say that I love Thompson Solutions for creating these seat prototypes.  Second, why the hell isn’t this type of seating being immediately adopted?!?  Yes, I know there is an expense to retrofitting planes, but how about on new planes that are added to the fleets?  How about starting to add offset seating to those?

The truth is that I really don’t need more room.  I can be happy in a cramped space, as long as it’s not inhumane and doesn’t involve ongoing incidental contact with strangers.  Offset seating provides exactly that.  In fact, I’d rather slide into a human-sized tube, get it sealed up, and be stacked like logs when I take a flight, rather than have to deal with the current cattle-car arrangement. 

One might respond that, in a free market, the customers decide what happens, and that if airplane travel were so horrible the airlines would be out of business.  Or, a competing airline would spring up and use smart new ideas to steal market share.  The problem is that, even though the airline industry has been ‘deregulated’, it’s not really a bunch of independent companies vying for market share on a level playing field.

Have you ever priced airline tickets?  Isn’t it an amazing coincidence how so many independent airline companies manage to offer the exact same fares on the same routes?  I mean, down to the penny – exactly the same.  This means, of course, that the airlines communicate in some way on fare structure.  Some might call that collusion, but I don’t want to get sued so I won’t.

Also, the major airlines have enormous control of gates at major airports.  Just ask Southwest Airlines.  They are probably the only real maverick airline, and they have been locked out of many major airports for a long time, because it’s impossible (or prohibitively expensive) to break the stranglehold that the larger airlines have on gates and flight times.  However, slowly but surely Southwest expands their routes over time.

They are actually my one hope for the return of sanity to air travel.  They’ve always gone their own way, and I could see them stepping up and doing something (like offset seating) to differentiate themselves further from the cattle-car airlines.

And to the prissy couple from above, and to all other fellow travelers, let’s please try to get along.  Air travel is a necessary evil in today’s world, and we are all just trying to get from Point A to Point B with our luggage and sanity intact.  I know there are rude people of all sizes, but let’s let them remain the minority.  Let’s all keep our wits about us and remember that we’re all human beings, and that if we could afford First Class we would, and if we could avoid cramped coach travel, we would do that, too.

But the reality is that most of end up traveling from time to time.  As a requirement of our professions.  To visit family.  To seek medical help.  To unwind on a vacation.  To attend a funeral.  And, as hard as it is to believe, very few people travel for the sole purpose of annoying their fellow passengers.  We’re all on board for a reason, and if we have any anger or ire let’s direct it at the airlines for not offering us any realistic options, rather than sniping at each other.

Related posts:

1. Can We Stop Airline Terrorism?
2. Esther’s Follies (***½)
3. Desperate Housewives (***)

The proposed site of the so-called 'Ground Zero Mosque'

I blog this morning feeling quite thoroughly American.  I have taken paid time off from my stressful but cushy job where I work from home for a corporation halfway across the country.  Engineerboy is manning the homestead while some electricians work their electron magic on our old 1940′s-wired cottage.  I’ve taken refuge at a local coffee shop, chilling in the air conditioning with an espresso drink, a blueberry muffin, and Wi-Fi.  I’m humming along to the Garbage song that’s softly playing in the background.  Baby Bootsie is snugly snoozing and strapped to me in the that marvel of upper middle class parenthood engineering, the Baby Bjorn Synergy.  The only other patron of the coffee shop is a retired grandfather who chats with the coffee shop owner about how he comes here every day for coffee and Internet access because he doesn’t want to pay AT&T $50 for broadband at his apartment, then he proceeds to head out in his brand new Mercedes. 

The whole scene embodies a lot of what is unique, slightly ostentatious, but ultimately lovable about America – the coffee shop owner happily offering free Wi-Fi to entice the locals to spend time with coffee and muffins, my husband and I fixing up our crappy old war cottage one paycheck at a time, me getting my choice of whole, 2%, skim, rice, or soy in my latte.  Even among the cushy capitalist trappings, it’s down home and small town and very friendly and sweet.  The paintings on the wall are from our favorite local artist (the same who did the Donkey family tattoo marathon session when the G-I-R-L turned 18, paid for in trade for us doing his website).  The New York pizza shop that connects to the coffee shop (Who has a combo pizza shop / coffee shop?  This place, that’s who) recognizes me when I call, just by the pizzas we always order (“Hey, were they cooked well done enough for you last time?”). 

As I sit here sipping coffee and periodically stopping to smooch the snoozing Baby Bootsie, I ponder the outline of the New-York-skyline-with-Twin-Towers painted on the wall of the pizza place with a “Never Forget” plaque.  9/11 was a shattering day even for those of us not in New York City, especially for those of us young enough not to remember other where-were-you-when-it-happened events of pivotal violence – the unreal kind that we had always grew up dispassionately watching happen elsewhere on the global news.  On 9/11 it took me all day to get hold of one of my college friends in New York City, and he’d spent his whole day frantic until he’d finally located his sister who’d been scheduled to take an employment drug test in one of the Trade Center buildings that day.  I watched the towers fall on live TV from the snack room at work.  I was working for ExxonMobil at the time, and I was afraid for any workers at the downtown Houston office; what an appetizing target the headquarters of the world’s largest American oil company might present to a group interested in attacking outposts of American imperialism. 

I know that I, not being a New Yorker, not having personally lost anyone in the Twin Towers or the Pentagon attacks, do not have the same visceral relationship with that tragedy or the Ground Zero site imprinted that day with the terror of the thousands of souls who perished.  But even knowing I can only witness the debate on the current proposed “Ground Zero mosque” as an interested party rather than a member of those directly affected, I am astonished and ashamed at the opposition I am hearing.  The politicians who categorically oppose it are – at best – gently abandoning our core American beliefs in a misguided attempt to spare pain to non-Muslim New Yorkers, or are – at worst – consciously and maliciously fanning the current anti-immigrant terror-baby flames that so easily ignite the tinderboxes of fear in the minds of perhaps otherwise sensible Americans. 

If local efforts to block the construction of the mosque are successful, it will be a travesty of how America should work and in direct opposition to one of the core beliefs that makes our country unique and admirable.   It is because we defend unpopular religions that we are the country we are.  The right of my neighbor to say things that irritate me (or practice religions I don’t like) makes this country so great, not just because it protects me when I want to say something that irritates my neighbor or practice a faith that she finds objectionable.   This setup, inconvenient or emotionally charged though it may be on an individual basis, ensures the wonderful rich marketplace of ideas and perspectives that makes the U.S. the country to desire to come to, rather than one to escape from.   We generally like to have a lot of options in that marketplace, even if not everything is to our taste.  I mean, sure, pop-up ads are annoying, but at least we don’t make Google filter our traffic, right?

I hope constitutional precedent and cool heads will prevail on this topic.  After all, nothing’s more patriotic in America than upholding the rights of someone to do or say something you don’t like.

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Don't lose your cool...

We recently replaced two of our old, crappy window unit air-conditioners with newer models.  The new units were from Home Depot and the installation was do-it-yourself, and when I was done I realized that I had two undisposable hunks of junk to deal with.  You can’t just throw away a system loaded with refrigerant, so I figured all I had to do was figure out how everybody else did it, then do that.

My first strategy was to ask at the local recycling center here in Brenham.  They said I could probably take them to the collection station (dump), so the next time I went to the dump I asked at the office if they would take window unit air-conditioners.  They said they would, as long as all the coolant had been recovered by an authorized contractor, and the units were officially tagged as being empty.

That sounded good, so I started calling the local AC contractors around town, and found that 90% of them responded with “we don’t work on window units”, 5% took a message and called me back looking to schedule a coolant recharge, and 5% had no idea what I was talking about (and/or feigned ignorance because they didn’t want to do it).

At this point I’ll clarify that I clearly expressed that I was willing to pay a fee for this service, I wasn’t looking for it to be done for free, or anything, and still no takers.  I finally started doing some serious web searching and found this site:

http://www.texaspowerfulsmart.org/rebate/recycling_partners.php

Which bills itself as “Official Texas Trade Up Appliance Rebate Program”, and that link goes to their list of recycling partners.  That list looked very promising, especially when I saw that all Best Buy locations were drop-off locations that take room air-conditioners, as shown here:

Problem solved?! Nope...

With a song in my heart and a ‘green’ aura, I figured my problems were solved, so I loaded up the air conditioners (one of which was a 25,000 BTU model weighing 200+ pounds) and prepared to get rid of my albatrosses…albatrossi?…albatri?  Before heading out I figured I’d make a quick call to my local Best Best buy to confirm, and that’s when I got the bad news – they didn’t take air conditioners.  They didn’t really care too much about the fact that they were listed on the Texas site as being an authorized recycling center that took window units, it was no dice.

I figured I’d double-check on the Best Buy website, where I found this:

Confirmation of misinformation, frustration

I figured, oh well, just some miscommunication and/or old information, no worries, and I’ll just work my way down the list of nearby listed recycling centers.  Unfortunately, each one I contacted had variations of the same story, they either didn’t deal in window units, or they only recycled old units when they were selling you a new unit.

My strike-outs continued and my frustration mounted, until I got to ‘Barker’s Heating & Cooling Inc’ in College Station.  They knew what I was talking about, told me the fee ($75), said I could drop them off, and that they were open until 5pm.  I headed out as fast as I could, overjoyed at finally being able to finally get rid of these units in an ethical way.  Dealing with Barker’s could not have been any easier, they knew what they were doing, offloaded the units quickly, I paid the invoice, and I was on my way within 15 minutes.  Whew.  Here’s their website:

http://www.barkerservices.com/company.shtml

We’re planning on eventually installing central AC, and when we’re ready Barker’s will be getting the first shot at it due to their efficiency and friendliness in dealing with the recycling/disposal of these two window units.

I’m posting this in case it might prove helpful to somebody else in the same dilemma.  Those of you Texans in bigger  cities and/or in towns that already have a straightforward way to recycle air conditioners, be thankful.  For the rest of you, I hope this saga includes information that may prove helpful to you if you happen to be finding it frustrating to figure out how to get rid of your old window units ethically and legally.

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Did Disney at least buy you dinner, IMDb?

I started visiting the IMDb site way back in the day, even before they were bought by Amazon.com.  Back then, IMDb was a site for film lovers and film scholars, an encyclopedic collection of information and opinions about film (and, later, television).

However, once Amazon.com purchased IMDb they have slowly but inexorably worked to “monetize” the traffic on the site.  They added a fee-service called IMDb Pro, which provides deeper and newer information, and they have also blithely accepted saturation advertising for any and every piece of crap excreted by Hollywood, as long as the budgets were big enough.

For example, the screen shot to the right is of the home page today, and as you can see it is *plastered* with advertising for and editorial references to Disney’s “Prince of Persia”.  By all accounts, this film sucks mightily, and will quickly take its place in the pantheon of mass-produced, mass-marketed, money-grubbing, mediocre, mainstream, meaningless films, and no self-respecting site for film fans would feature it so prominently.

Seriously, what would you think if you visited the Architectural Digest site, and found the front page emblazoned with a half-dozen ads for mobile homes, or if you visited the Bon Appétit site and found they were garishly sponsored by McDonald’s, touting the return of the McRib, for a limited time?

You’d think that they had sold out, wouldn’t you?  But that doesn’t stop IMDb from whoring itself out to the highest advertising bidder.  You see, IMDb is no longer run by or for film buffs.  It’s run by Amazon.com as a vehicle to sell you entertainment, or to sell advertising to companies that want to sell you entertainment.  IMDb has dropped all pretense of being an arbiter of or commenter on the quality of the films on its site and/or in general.  Oh, it still lets members post reviews and ratings, and links to external reviews, but there are apparently no quality barriers to the films they allow to be advertised and prominently featured on their site.

In the interest of fairness, I will stipulate that IMDb is still a great source of information, and if you can block or ignore the advertising, it can still be a valuable resource.  But it’s become like WalMart – a soul-less emporium that has a vast selection but has no sense of quality or discrimination about their offerings, other than low-prices.  I sometimes go to WalMart, when I have to, but it is a joyless, draining chore.

And that’s exactly what IMDb has become to me – the WalMart of film information.  I go to IMDb for specific reasons – to look up an actor or actress, to find the details of a particular TV show episode, etc, and then leave immediately.  But what I don’t do is browse IMDb as entertainment, like I used to.  Back in the day I could wander the virtual halls of IMDb, coming across tidbits, discovering new films I might like, getting information about a particular film’s history or production, etc.  It was an enjoyable place to mingle digitally with like-minded film buffs.

Sadly, this is no longer the case, at least not for me.  The incessant pop-ups and blinking+pulsing advertisements on every page, the editorial highlighting of films whose only “quality” is a big advertising budget, and the distinct lack of discriminating, discerning editorial slant when it comes to the world of film.  So IMDb still gets some clicks from me, but now that I have no respect for the site, I have even less respect for anything they allow to be advertised, so those clicks are not “monetized” in any way.

I doubt I’m the only person who has gone through this disillusionment with IMDb, and they have to be feeling it.  Or am I misjudging the number of non-discriminating, non-discerning filmgoers who will visit the site, become enthralled by the flashing and pulsing advertisements for a piece of crap, and then go spend money on a ticket for it?

Sadly, I think I am, and I think that IMDb represents a crystal-clear microcosm of what is wrong with film today – the soulless pursuit of money by bean-counters, who see sheep as their customers of choice.

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You probably wouldn't remember, I probably couldn't forget

Today I was sitting in the car in the car wash listening to tunes, and I heard an old favorite – “Jungle Love” by The Steve Miller Band, from 1977.  The song sounds kind of pop-y and like a confection, but the lyrics have, to me, always been more poetic and abstract than the tune and the refrain.  Here are the lyrics, as best as I can decode them (leaving out the refrains):

I met you on somebody’s island
You thought you had known me before
I brought you a crate of papaya
They waited all night by your door
You probably wouldn’t remember
I probably couldn’t forget
Jungle love in the surf in the pouring rain
Everything’s better when wet

But lately you live in the jungle
I never see you alone
But we need some definite answers
So I thought I would write you a poem
The question to everyone’s answer
Is usually asked from within
But the patterns of the rain
And the truth they contain
Have written my life on your skin

You treat me like I was your ocean
You swim in my blood when it’s warm
My cycles of circular motion
Protect you and keep you from harm
You live in a world of illusion
Where everything’s peaches and cream
We all face a scarlet conclusion
But we spend our time in a dream

Now, I’ve only seen a few random episodes of the TV show “Lost”, but during the leadup to the recent finale my daughter was home from college catching up on episodes so that she’d be ready for a finale viewing party, so I got some summary information about the show, the characters, the plot, the show structure, etc.

And I have to say, based on my limited information about the show, the lyrics above sure seem to evoke the vibe of the series.  Specific examples include this lyric:

I met you on somebody’s island, you thought you had known me before

Which almost seems like almost a one-line summary of the series.  Everybody is flashing forward and backward, into and out of parallel universes, vaguely remembering or forgetting each other.

And this one:

You treat me like I was your ocean, you swim in my blood when it’s warm

They are on an island surrounded by water, regularly in the ocean trying to escape or move between islands, spilling a lot of blood in the process - so much that you might say they were…swimming…in it?

Then there’s this one:

My cycles of circular motion protect you and keep you from harm

Isn’t that the crux of the show, every X number of minutes somebody has to go down the hatch and push a button or something, and in doing this repetitive, circular process they are protecting everyone and keeping them from harm?

And then the final lines:

You live in a world of illusion
Where everything’s peaches and cream
We all face a scarlet conclusion
But we spend our time in a dream

Sounds like “world of illusion” is a correct description of the island, “we all face a scarlet conclusion” could mean that everybody dies, and “we spend our time in a dream” seems to accurately describe what it must be like for the characters, at least as I understand it.

So, I’ll put it to you Lost fan(atic)s out there – do you see any parallel between these lyrics and the show?

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"If you could make God bleed, people will cease to believe in Him."

Iron Man 2 is a not-disappointing sequel, however it’s also not as entertaining as the original.  But, there have been only a very few sequels that equaled or surpassed their predescessors, so that’s not surprising. 

What was surprising, for me, was the understated performance by Mickey Roarke as Ivan Vanko (right), Iron Man’s nemesis with a family grudge in this installment.  Calling his performance “understated” is an…well…understatement, because Vanko is of course a larger-than-life comic book villain.  However, within that context, Roarke’s performance is carefully restrained and excellently realized.

Also well cast and well characterized are Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer, head of a competing defense contracting firm, and Garry Shandling (Garry Shandling?!??!?) as Senator Stern, Iron Man’s foe in the Senate who is looking to have the government own (and exploit) the underlying Stark technology.  Scarlett Johansson also does a good job as Natalie Rushman, Tony Stark’s new assistant who is “from legal”.

The story…well…the story gets us from Point A to Point B very effectively, but it felt like a transition piece instead of a complete story.  That may be the way it has to be for movies based on comic books, since the comics have been around for decades and have much more story material than can be compressed into a movie (or two, or three).  However, it seems like a movie of this caliber should at least strive to end at a more momentous and climactic juncture.

The film-making is also sloppier than in the first one.  As an example, there is a sequence where Tony Stark appears as Iron Man at his own Expo (about the size of a World’s Fair) and is attacked by an army of drone robots.  These drone robots are similar to Iron Man, can fly, and are packed with advanced weaponry.  Iron Man takes off with the fleet of drones in hot pursuit, launching a continuous stream of weapon fire at him.  Does Iron Man fly as far away from the gathered expo-attendees?  No, he spends five minutes swooping and diving around the Expo, causing the drone-fire to strafe the crowds of innocent bystanders below, over and over and over and over again. 

He has no reason to hang around the Expo, there’s nobody he needs to rescue, nothing he needs to disarm or defeat, and if he had simply headed as far and as fast away from the Expo as he could he would have saved many, many lives.  In fact, after his 5 minutes of induced-strafing-of-the-innocents, he finally wises up and says something like, “Holy crap, I better get away from the Expo!”, and then zooms off.  Narcissistic personality disorder, indeed.

But, overall, it doesn’t disappoint, which is a bit of faint praise, but also a bit of a relief.  I really liked the first film, and was very worried that the sequel would go off the rails.  It didn’t.  It also didn’t blaze any new trails, but that’s okay.  This is one of the few sequels that left me wanting to see the third installment, and was definitely worth the price of a non-matinee, first-run movie theater ticket price.

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Dogs eat it, flies swarm to it

I thought I’d try to be a little more gentle on the environment and use an ‘organic’ fertilizer for our yard.  I found Scotts® Organic Choice® Lawn Food at the local Home Depot and decided to give it a try.  I just spread it this weekend so I can’t speak to its greening or healthifying effects on the lawn, but I can state, unequivocally, that my three dogs and every fly in the general area *love* it.

I first spread it on the front lawn, without any drama, and the only slight warning sign was the very…er…’organic’ smell of the stuff.  However, it smelled like it could be a rich source of nutrients, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Then I spread it in the back yard, where our dogs have access to the fenced yard.  I locked them in the house while I spread it, and as soon as I finished and let them back out all three of them started snuffling around the entire yard like prized truffle pigs.  Things took a turn for the worse when I noticed that all three of them were also licking the grass and ground and ingesting the fertilizer grains.

I also noticed that there were flies all over the yard, landing randomly all over the grass, apparently drawn in by the organic lawn food.  Note that I’m pretty meticulous about keeping our yard clean of doggie bombs, so the appearance of swarms of flies is not normal.  Also, the flies weren’t hanging around any dog piles, they were all over the yard.

I locked the dogs back in the house and figured I’d try watering the Scotts into the yard and see if that would help.  It didn’t, it only seemed to add an irresistable ‘gravy’ to the granules and made even more attractive to my dogs and the flies.

So, now, here I sit with my dogs locked in the house, waiting for the time when (I hope) the Scotts has lost its mojo enough that my dogs won’t continually graze on it.  The stuff claims to be safe for kids and pets, and there’s even a picture of a kid and a pet laying in a grassy yard on the label, but I bet this stuff isn’t designed to be a dietary supplement. 

I checked the Scotts site here, but they don’t have any helpful information, and as of the time of this posting the “View Label” button on that page returns:

“We apologize for the inconvenience, but this information is no longer current and accessible.”

Similarly, the ‘FAQ & Help’ tab says:

“Sorry, no F.A.Q. material for this product is available.  If you have product questions Scotts experts are available by email and phone in our Help Center.”

Which neither answers my questions nor is helpful.

So, if you’re like me and you’re exploring more natural ways to keep your lawn green, and you’re wondering about Scotts® Organic Choice® Lawn Food and your dogs, I can tell you that I won’t be using it again.  My dogs haven’t seemed to suffer in ill effects, but still, I don’t want them eating this stuff.  Also, the flies were just the icing on the cake and completed my disappointment in this product.  I mean, even if I didn’t have dogs, who wants to have a fly-infested green lawn?

Not me.

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Nobody puts crazy in a corner...

Marie and I decided to play multiplex roulette today, where we spontaneously stop at the movie theater and watch the most appealing next show.  There aren’t a lot of rules to Theater Roulette, but we reserve the right to veto and play again another day if nothing seems worthwhile.

Today’s winner was The Crazies, a remake of the George Romero film from the 1970′s with the same name and storyline.  Neither of us knew anything about the film, other than I recalled a vaguely non-terrible mention of it from somewhere, but not even a full-fledged review.

I’ve never seen the original, so can’t compare them, but the current version is an interesting twist on the zombieless zombie film.  The basic storyline is that a government plane carrying biological weapons has crashed upstream of a small farm community, and the infectious agent has seeped into the town’s water supply.  The infection causes people to go catatonic, then go crazy, then go homocidal, and was designed to destabilize the society of our enemies. 

The story focuses on the local sheriff, his wife, and an ever-decreasing band of survivors.  The sheriff and his deputy piece together what’s happening just in time to find their town completely isolated – no landlines, cell phones, internet connections, nothing.  The roads are blocked and an overwhelming force of highly uninformative government agents and soldiers take over, separating everyone into the infected or non-infected holding areas. 

The sheriff goes to one, his pregnant wife goes to the other, and thereby hangs the tale.  If you’ve ever seen a zombie/infected-people movie you’ll get the gist of the overall story, but The Crazies brings a good deal of art and craft to the telling.  As an aside, I find it amusing that people will dismiss “zombie movies” as something that have been done before, but to me that would be like dismissing all rom-coms or cop procedurals for the same reason.  The entertainment with these genre films isn’t in the uniqueness of the story, but in the nature of the telling.

For example, I grew up in a small town, and I live in a small town, so I know what small towns are like, and the director (Breck Eisner, son of Michael) nailed it perfectly.  The small town looks like a small town, not like what some Hollywood production designer might imagine a small town would look like, if they ever saw one other than out of the window of their coast-to-coast flights.

And the characters are small-town.  The sheriff (Timothy Olyphant) is polite and taciturn, but he’s not a dummy.  His wife (Radha Mitchell) is the town doctor, and his deputy (Joe Anderson) looks and talks like he grew up playing banjo on the porch, but when the chips are down he takes care of business.  The acting is excellent throughout the cast, and the effects are subtle and well-done.

Put it all together and The Crazies is fun (if you are the type who can see a zombie film as being “fun”), smart, unpredictable, and even humorous in parts.  Well worth the ticket price for any aficionado of the genre.

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