Dear American Idol Producers,
Sigh. Another season has ended, albeit with a surprise ending (Kris Allen defeating Adam Lambert), but the finale wasn’t watched in my household. Again. We didn’t watch last year, either. And although we watched most of the episodes this season, we still watched many fewer than last season.
Over the years there have been several consistent issues we have with the show which continue to drain our enthusiasm. If you care to know them, here they are:
Issue #1: Obvious no-talents singing before the judges during tryouts
I can see you all huddled in your planning meetings, hoping to strike some more William Hung-like ratings gold by putting through idiots, freaks, sad losers, and people whose singing talent is measured in the negative range. However, that schtick is old and played out and should be retired. As the judges are so fond of saying, and what keeps me watching, is that this is a singing competition. Having your screeners put through some croaking clown to sing before the judges is a ludicrous and transparent ploy, please stop it.
Issue #2: The endless, manufactured backstories
During tryouts, you pick supposedly interesting/appealing contestants and provide us with behind-the-scenes looks at their lives, toils, challenges, and troubles. However, at this early stage these are anonymous singers, so the program would be much more interesting and lively, in our opinion, if you would simply stage the singing competition. Now, when you get to Hollywood and start paring down the contestants to an identifiable bunch, we might like to learn a *little* something about them…but just a little. The endless biographing and attempts to manufacture pathos and drama are irksome.
Issue #3: Kara DioGuardi
Who? Why? The best way to describe her is to paraphrase Shakespeare thusly: “Kara is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets her hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. Her’s is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Kara did not have one moment that we saw this season that wasn’t useless, irritating, or both, or somewhere in between. And don’t get us started on her “song”, which is addressed further down in this article.
Issue #4: Country week
Do you have to kowtow to that demographic? Have you even stopped to consider how many viewers it drives away (like us) compared to how many it attracts for that one, single episode? Country music is not what American Idol is about, period, so don’t try to put a pig behind the lipstick – it insults the fans of both kinds of music.
Issue #5: Golden Idol awards
Really? Just shorten the damn show by 15 minutes. Please? Even 15 minutes of dead air would be preferable.
Issue #6: An even number of judges
This puts too much power in the hands of Lord Cowell. Have three judges…or five