Halliburton Moving to Dubai

Posted on March 1st, 2007 in Politics by EngineerBoy

So, Halliburton has announced that they are moving their corporate headquarters from Houston, TX, USA to Dubai, UAE. Their stated reasoning is that, well, that’s where the action is and it makes sense for their CEO to be there.

Also note that Halliburton is spinning off their KBR subsidiary – and take special note that KBR is Halliburton’s engineering and military contracting arm, the arm that has done the bulk of contract work for the US government in Iraq.

So, here are three pieces of information that just seem to point to one inescapably unethical conclusion:

  • The CEO and Headquarters for Halliburton will relocate to Dubai.
  • Halliburton is spinning off KBR, which did most of the contracting work in Iraq for the US, and which is coming under increasing scrutiny by the ascendant Democratic party for no-bid contracts, shoddy work, price gouging, etc.
  • The outgoing Republican administration is losing their ability to protect the company that Dick Cheney ran just six short years ago – in fact, he went directly from being head of Halliburton to being the Vice President.

And now for some conjecture:

  • I’ll bet that extraditing someone from the UAE to the US can be made difficult, particularly if you are an executive with a multi-billion dollar multi-national corporation who recently moved your headquarters (and revenue base) to the UAE.
  • Halliburton is stating that they intend to retain their incorporation in the US and that only the CEO’s office and HQ are moving. I would not be surprised to hear an announcement down the line that Halliburton intends to move its incorporation to Dubai, as well. That’s strictly conjecture, but it sure seems like the next shoe to drop.
  • I’ll bet that Halliburton is going to do their damndest to get moved before the current lame-duck presidency ends and the new administration, almost assuredly Democrat, takes power and starts getting to look at the Iraq debacle from the inside. 
  • I’ll bet that there will be far-reaching, ongoing investigations and prosecutions related to the Iraq war, particularly directed against Halliburton for things as potentially drastic as war-profiteering, and perhaps even against members of the current administration for the ease with which business was simply handed to Halliburton/KBR, seemingly with no thought to competitive bid, fair pricing, or even ability to deliver. 
  • I’ll bet that divesting itself of the unit that did most of the contracting work in Iraq will serve to make it incrementally more difficult to involve Halliburton executives in the investigations/prosecutions (“What, you mean that company over there? They have nothing to do with us!”). 
  • I wonder if the UAE has any records-retention laws, and if they do, if they enforce them, and if they do, if Halliburton will care. I can see the situation arising where it will be awfully difficult for investigators to subpoena records from Halliburton, when said records either no longer exist, only exist in the UAE, or can’t really be located because they got misplaced during the spinoff of KBR – you know how it is when you move, things get misplaced. 
  • If you recall it was a Dubai-based company that the US wanted hire to manage our international ports a few months back. At the time it seemed crazy that our Middle-Eastern-hating current administration would paradoxically be so happy and smiley about outsourcing the running of US international ports (classified by every US intelligence service as highly vulnerable targets for terrorist strikes) to a company based in Dubai. 
  • Dubai, while working to become a cosmopolitan destination, still lists Islam as the official religion, provides government funding for almost all Sunni mosques (and almost none for Shi’a mosques), routinely denies visa applications from Jews, allows a brazen sex-slave trade (to support tourism, don’t you know?), treats migrant workers as indentured servants, and punishes homosexuality with death.  Yeah, I can see the appeal for Halliburton – what’s not to like?

On the face of it, this move, to me, is such a bald-faced attempt to both ensure the profits derived from Iraq are safe and to ensure that Halliburton execs don’t get thrown in jail that I can scarcely believe Halliburton has the guts to try it. The Bush/Cheney/oil hegemony is crumbling and I doubt that the current administration has enough power left to set the pick for Halliburton so they can escape.

Please also note that I have absolutely no inside information or access to facts beyond what’s being published in the news, so I could be way, way off base. However, I don’t think I am. Also, I actually don’t have a problem if Halliburton wants to move to the UAE to avoid US taxes – I say, good for them. That’s just business in the global market. However, my take is that any such move should be blocked by US regulators until after the dust settles from the Iraq mess and that any resulting music has been faced – ditto on the spinoff of KBR.

Global Warming – Is It A Natural Cycle?

Posted on March 1st, 2007 in Commentary by EngineerBoy

First, I want to start this article by saying that I don't identify myself as a Conservative or a Liberal. If forced to tag myself, I'd say I was a Realist. I agree with the right, the middle, and the left based on the particular issue at hand and my opinions of that particular issue – no dogmatism for me. In my political, corporate, ethical, and personal lives I've come to two realizations (well, more than two, but realizations that include these two):

  • Sometimes people who don't have your best interests at heart still manage to get some things right.
  • Sometimes people who have your best interests at heart still manage to get some things wrong.

One other caveat here is that the only absolute knowledge that I have attained is that I know nothing. Everything else has a degree of uncertainty, so I don't claim to be an infallible voice pontificating from an ivory tower. I'm just a boy in the world, trying to make sense out of things.

Case in point: Global Warming. This has become a huge, hot-button topic for every candidate of every party, has introduced us to the concept of carbon-neutrality, and has put humanity itself on trial as the slayers of Mother Earth. Now, I will admit without hesitation that humans do bad things to nature – pollution, strip mining, deforestation, overfishing, oil spills, refuse, snowmobiles, The Amazing Race, greased-up Channel swimmers, blue-ice-airplane-restroom-meteorites, dams, invasive species, cruel husbandry, over-watering, under-preserving, species endangerment, and golf courses, just to name a few.

All of this drastically changes the ecosystem of the Earth. There is a philosophical question here, which is, should we consider that any impact by man on nature is negative and should be curtailed? I think stated in that way most of us would agree that no, it's a given that man can and should have some impact on nature. But, how does one define nature? Is it all non-human life on earth? Are humans not natural? Is there a fundamental difference between a dam built by a beaver and a dam built by humans, other than scale? And who draws the lines between acceptable and unacceptable? The NRA? OPEC? GreenPeace? PETA? So many differing opinions – they can't all be right…and they can't all be wrong, either.

Before you think that the cause and effect of global warming is a known fact, check out this article on WikiPedia:

Scientists Opposing the Mainstream Scientific Assessment of Global Warming

Check out the list of scientists in that article – climatologists, geologists, geophysicists, and meteorologists from places like MIT, Harvard, USC, and Duke. They all agree on one thing, which is that we don't yet know that human CO2 production is causing global warming, nor do we know that the warming of the global temperature is necessarily a bad or unnatural thing. These are not radical people from questionable institutions – these are reputable people from respected institutions, making what to me appear to be very reasonable objections to the dogma that man creates CO2 which creates global warming which is a very bad thing.

Just remember, the question on the table isn't “Is the Earth getting warmer?”. I think just about everybody can read the temperature charts and see that, yup, temperatures are increasing over the last couple of hundred years. Where the issue lies, for me, is that people tend to assume that that temperature increase is unnatural/unexpected, caused by man, and “bad”. The thing is, the average temperature of the Earth is always changing in one direction or the other. I was a teenager in the '70's when the hot button topic was “Global Cooling”, and it generated just as much emotion as the “Global Warming” topic does today.

Also, in the big scheme of things, today's temperatures are actually COOLER than the Earth's average temperatures. For example, take a look at this chart (note that today is on the left side of the graph!):

Image Courtesy of Global Warming Art

Remember, today is on the LEFT side of the above graph. So, if this graph is even marginally accurate today's global temperatures are well below the averages over the last few million years. Do I (or anybody) know that this graph is 100% accurate? Of course not. However, it's just as accurate as any other model being put together today by anyone touting either viewpoint in the global warming argument, meaning that it is simply a model and an estimate based on certain assumptions and by no means represents absolute scientific certainty.

And that's my issue with the entire topic of Global Warming. People are speaking about it in absolute terms when there is absolutely nothing absolute about it. One of the most dogmatic of zealots in this area has been former US Vice President Al Gore, with his film An Inconvenient Truth. Now, I have nothing against Mr. Gore in particular, but somehow he has attained for some the status of Truth-Speaker in the debate over Global Warming, and he's certainly making a lot of hay with the topic.

However, my problem is that people don't seem to stop and think that perhaps Mr. Gore has an angle in this. He made a movie that made money that won an Oscar which put him back on the public stage, this time as a concerned Environmentalist Emeritus and not a boring, wooden, ineffective former Vice President. But before you go polishing his halo, take a look at this:

Image Courtesy of The Tennessean

If you click the image above it will take you to a story about how Al Gore is profiting from the above zinc mine, which as you can see is stripping away the natural beauty of the area and pumping pollutants into the nearby water sources. Well, that's just the kind of heartwarming activity you'd expect from somebody who's trying to resurrect his political career on the platform of environmentalism, isn't it? Nope, in my opinion it's the activity of somebody who's working an angle, just like just about everybody in this debate. Talk about an inconvenient truth.

Again, this isn't a smear against Al Gore, it's actually a smear against us, the American political consumers. How and why was Al Gore allowed to become a sainted pontificator of truth while those who question him are evil world destroyers? Well, I question him, and I *LOVE* the planet, and I'm not a registered member of ANY political party, and I don't care if he comes back into politics. However, what I do care about is that he's working his way back onto the public stage by waving the flag of environmentalism, meanwhile he flies around in private jets and drives around in armored SUVs and limos, and pimps out his family's beautiful acreage to be stripped by polluting miners, and the American public just eats it up with a spoon.

And there's the rub. In today's America you can't dispute the “facts” about global warming without being seen as a trogolodydic, seal-clubbing, oil-spilling, future-mortgaging, Earth-raping, neo-conservative, money-grubbing, evil-doer. Well, I'm none of those things, and I strongly dispute the so-called “facts” about global warming as they are being presented today. I think we all need to calm down and actually look at the facts, which are inconclusive. And I think that's the core of the issue – people in America today are tired of issues that are grey – they want issues that are black and white, and if they can't get them then they take the grey issues and make them black and white so that they can have something to fight about.

Instead, what would make more sense is for us all to accept the that Global Warming is a head-scratcher, and that we don't know what man is doing to cause it (if anything), and that we don't know how to stop it (or even if we should), and take the debate out of the political arena and put it back into the scientific arena where it belongs – free of political sabre-rattling.

Also, do we really want to freeze the developing world in its current state and not allow it to industrialize? Do we really want to freeze Africa with its current socio-economic realities in place, and prevent them from bettering their lives until we in the “civilized world” can figure out if they should be allowed to do so, and if so, how they should do it so they don't produce too much carbon?

Not in my opinion. In my opinion we all need to take a deep breath and dispassionately review the facts. I also firmly believe that we need to continue to figure out how to reduce man's negative impact on the environment as we certainly don't have the right to simply destroy the Earth in the name of progress. However, jumping on a loud bandwagon just because the snake oil sounds like a magic bullet is *not* the way to address the issue.

Oscar Fashion 2007 – The Mynagirl Fashion Report for the 79th Annual Academy Awards

Posted on February 2nd, 2007 in Fashion by mynagirl

Weirdest Trend of the Night: Bruise Chic

So, black and blue is an unusual combo, but both Maggie Gyllenhaal and Portia DeRossi combined them with elegant results.

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Maggie wears the one-shoulder well, although I’m not sure if her hair accessory is feathers or an oil slick. I guess neither is very PC, though, given this is the first environmentally friendly Oscars, eh?

PortiaDeRossi

PortiaDeRossi

Portia’s slender frame works quite well with the cutaway and shimmery fabric.

Things I Normally Don’t Like That I Liked For Some Reason

GwynethPaltrow

GwynethPaltrow

GwynethPaltrow

GwynethPaltrowGwynethPaltrow

I have never ever seen a Zac Posen dress I liked… ever… until this gorgeous terra cotta pleated sheath.

Celine Dion

Celine Dion

Celine Dion

I generally think Celine Dion dresses terribly and I don’t care for low-cut gowns, but this elegant emerald creation with just-the-right-amount of diamond bling was just perfect.

Anika Noni Rose

Ditto for Anika Noni Rose — not usually a big fan of the low cut but she looks radiant, or at the least irradiated!

Rachel Weisz

Rachel Weisz

Rachel Weisz

I normally diss beigey neutrally colors, but this satin quicksilver Vera Wang gown on Rachel Weisz is absolutely stunning.

Stuff I Loved

Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster (also in Vera Wang) is fabulous in cornflower chiffon.

Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon once again proves she’s not hurtin’ post-breakup — at least not visibly — in this plummy Nina Ricci.

Queen Latifah in Carmen Marc Valvo

Love the dress on Queen Latifah and absolutely adore anything Carmen Marc Valvo.

Helen Mirren

Helen Mirren

Helen Mirren

Helen Mirren

Simply stunning. Can’t say enough good things about Helen Mirren and her ability to just look flat out gorgeous.

Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett models one of the nicer costumes from ‘300’. No, seriously, she absolutely wins top Mynagirl honors with her unerring ability to look like a bronzed (or in this case, pewtered) goddess — top notch in Armani Privé.

Ryan Seacrest Underpants

Although normally I ignore men’s fashion during my little reviews, I have to give a shout out to Ryan Seacrest’s Calvin Klein underpants. Britney, take note, honey.

The Everpresent “Enhh” Category

Jada Pinkett Smith

Jada Pinkett Smith

If only they could’ve gold-plated her smile… Jada Pinkett Smith’s gown isn’t horrible, but she looks wicked tense.

Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson

The flappity gold wings don’t quite work… I wish Jennifer had gone for the clingy diva look she wore onstage during her singing number — this one didn’t do anything for me. But she’s enjoying herself, for sure!

Beyonce

Beyonce

Hey, you can play Bejeweled if you get bored during the awards! Beyonce sports a beautifully colored but slightly too encrusted Armani.

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz

Taking a cue from Bjork, Cameron Diaz wears her interpretation of a paper origami bird.

Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt

If the Devil is in the details, neither dress does it. Both Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt disappoint in Valentino and Calvin Klein, respectively.

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel

Jessica Biel

I know what boys like… I know what guys want… Jessica stumbles after her Golden Globe stunner, showing a little too much in her thin late-80’s fuschia-and-black halter.

Penelope Cruz

Penelope Cruz

Penelope Cruz

Enh. Beige/peach/strapless/ruffled/yada/yada/yada. Penelope Cruz once again goes daring with the exact same type of dress she always wears.

ROFLMAO

It never ceases to amaze me that these people with all this money, with designers and stylists at their every disposal, can wear stuff this wacky.

Kelly Preston

Kelly Preston

Kelly Preston is wearing the Grrranimals Couture collection by Dolce & Gabbana.

CatherineDeneuve

Message for you, sir!! Catherine Deneuve models the “Sweet Concord” collection by Python Couture.

KirstenDunst

KirstenDunst

KirstenDunst

It’s like an Anime Horror Story… believe it or not, Kirsten Dunst’s schoolgirl-necked frock includes feathers at the bottom.

GiulianaDePandi

E! correspondent Giuliana DePandi models the Ace Bandage collection from Monique L’Huilier.

Steve Carell's Wife

Okay, I normally don’t pick on non-honorees/non-famous people, but Steve Carrell’s wife really looks like she’s just waiting for the rest of that dress to “accidentally” fall off in front of the cameras. Hmmm.. anyone know if she got a body piercing in Houston yesterday??

JenniferLopez

JenniferLopez

JenniferLopez

Modeling the “Mother’s Little Helper” collection is a slightly glazed-looking Jennifer Lopez, who continues to not quell rumors of pregnancy in her second empire-waisted Marchesa gown in a row.

Elisabeth Shue

Okay, I know Elisabeth Shue hasn’t really been in a major movie in a while, but… Dress Barn? C’mon, Liz!!

Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman

And the Worst Outfit of the Evening goes to Nicole Kidman, who sports the “December to Remember” collection by Lexus.

Oh yeah, and in case you’re one of those people who, like, watches because it’s about acting — or something like that…

The Nominees and Winners for 79th Academy Awards

Best Actor

Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond

Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson

Peter O’Toole, Venus

Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness

Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland

Best Actress

Penélope Cruz, Volver

Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal

Helen Mirren, The Queen

Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada

Kate Winslet, Little Children

Best Supporting Actor

Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine

Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children

Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond

Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls

Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

Best Supporting Actress

Adriana Barraza, Babel

Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal

Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine

Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls

Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

Best Director

Clint Eastwood, Letters from Iwo Jima

Stephen Frears, The Queen

Paul Greengrass, United 93

Alejandro González Iñárritu, Babel

Martin Scorsese, The Departed [YAY!!! FINALLY!!]

Best Picture

Babel, Alejandro González Iñárritu, Steve Golin, Jon Kilik

The Departed, Graham King

Letters from Iwo Jima, Clint Eastwood, Steven Spielberg, Robert Lorenz

Little Miss Sunshine, David T. Friendly , Peter Saraf , Marc Turtletaub

The Queen, Andy Harries , Christine Langan , Tracey Seaward

Best Original Screenplay

Babel, Guillermo Arriaga

Letters from Iwo Jima, Iris Yamashita , Paul Haggis

Little Miss Sunshine, Michael Arndt

El Laberinto del Fauno, Guillermo del Toro

The Queen, Peter Morgan

Best Adapted Screenplay

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, Sacha Baron Cohen , Anthony Hines , Peter Baynham , Dan Mazer , Todd Phillips

Children of Men, Alfonso Cuarón , Timothy J. Sexton, David Arata , Mark Fergus , Hawk Ostby

The Departed, William Monahan

Little Children, Todd Field , Tom Perrotta

Notes on a Scandal, Patrick Marber

Chappell Hill Cafe – (***)

Posted on January 2nd, 2007 in Brenham,Restaurant Reviews by EngineerBoy

8966 Highway 290 E

Chappell Hill, TX 77426

Phone: (979) 836-0850

We recently moved to Brenham, and today (Sunday) we decided to follow one of our old Houston traditions of going out for a big Sunday breakfast. The only problem is we couldn’t find a single restaurant in Brenham that was open for breakfast on Sunday morning! We drove around to several likely candidates, but Mynagirl had already suggested the contigency of heading to the Chappell Hill Diner if we couldn’t find anything open. See, we have learned in our few months here in Brenham that almost nothing local is open on Sundays. Sure, the normal chain restaurants and retail outlets are open, but just about anything owned and run by locals is closed (which is strange for a town that is such a weekend tourist destination, but oh well).

Also, note that we have heard rumors of an IHOP being built in Brenham next door to the new Walgreen’s that’s being built across the street from HEB. We CANNOT wait for both of them!!
Anyway, back to the Chappell Hill Cafe. True to its roots as a highway crossroads establishment, the diner was in fact open, and was busy but not crowded and there were no delays with seating or food. We were extremely surprised and happy to find that there was no smoking allowed, as the place has the rustic feel of a die-hard, countrified, don’t-tell-me-what-to-do, smoker’s last-gasp stronghold. But it wasn’t…yay!

The place was clean but not fancy, the wait staff was pleasant and efficient, and the patrons were a mix of farmers, local townies, transplants (like us), and highway voyagers. We both ordered indulgent breakfasts including eggs, grits, hash browns, bacon, sausage, hotcakes, and french toast (we didn’t each get all of these things, but we purposely ordered more than we could eat in order to sample a broad swath of the bill of fare). The food was served quickly and was hot and fresh (the skillet sausage could have been a titch warmer for my tastes, but I ate it anyway). The only thing I didn’t at least take a sample of was the coffee, and Mynagirl said it was good diner coffee.

Everything was delicious. We both ate more than we intended, but less than we could have given how tasty everything was. Overall this was a great place and we’re defintely going to keep it in our rotation.

Okay, now for our one minor quibble. When we were about 3/4 of the way done with our meals the waitress comes over and cleaned the tables on either side of us by spritzing Fantastic on the table tops!!!!!!! The acrid, chemical stench was overwhelming and we each had to stop eating/drinking and cover our mouths to keep from gagging. She spritzed and spritzed enormous clouds of the stuff out into the air like Tinkerbell spreading magical pixie dust!! It was dis-gus-ting! If we hadn’t already almost finished our meals this might have ended up ruining the entire experience, but after a minute or two the stench died down and we were able to finish our meals.

But, WTF??!???!!? Don’t restaurants know by now not to spritz atomized chemicals into the airspace of the tables where patrons are eating?? And if you must use something, how about water with vinegar or lemon juice or something a little less toxic than Fantastic!!????? Sheeeeesh!!!!!

Anyway, end of rant. Overall, barring that one issue, we really liked this place and will be coming back. However, if they continue to assault their patrons with chemical weapons we just may end up skipping this place and just waiting for the IHOP.

Golden Globes 2007 Fashion Report

Posted on January 1st, 2007 in Fashion by mynagirl

Am I just getting old and crabby? Maybe the chardonnay is making me more catty than normal. Either way, enjoy.

Likes!

Kyra Sedgwick’s asymmetrical goddess gown was a delight

Kyra Sedgwick Kyra Sedgwick

The Clothes-er

Living well is the best revenge — Reese Witherspoon is radiant (if a bit thin) in kicky yellow satin with some fiery red shoes

Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon

These Laboutins are made for walkin’

24’s Mary Lynn Rajskub was adorable in her white column and shoulder duster earrings

Mary Lynn Rajskub

Satellite uplink achieved!

Renee Zellweger, despite looking like she always has a pillbug in her mouth, was indeed beautiful in emerald satin

Renee Zellweger

Mmmbllhdbblldlds… blech

What all the Grecian cheerleaders are wearing!!

Hayden Panettiere Hayden Panettiere

Hayden Pannettiere’s Grecian Monique L’Huillier frock and fall are lovely and young

The always adorable and fresh Kate Winslet in Ungaro

Kate Winslet

Wull Hullo Darling!

America Ferrera was lovely in Lapis-colored Brian Reyes

America Ferrera

Georgeous America

Sienna Miller’s messy Grecian ‘do with simply lined but busily printed Marchesa gown was quite radiant on her slender frame

Sienna Miller

Sienna Miller

I will be laying down some Law of my own

This breaks all my rules — low cut, etc, but damn… she just pulls it off!! Beyonce shimmers with straight hair and a curvy gold-clad body

Beyonce

Ok, so the Golden Globe joke is too easy, right?

The Arquettes let their freak flag fly in leather and lace

Arquettes

Arque-a-licious

Hilary Swank was put together and precious as the Black Dahlia

Hilary Swank

Hilary Swank

Finally, back together again

Penelope Cruz is gorgeous and classic in Chanel Couture

Penelope Cruz Penelope Cruz

Volver-ilicious

LOLs

Angelina Jolie did her best Sunny Von Bulow impression

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

Oh, You Have No Idea

Annette Bening looks pained in an awkwardly tailored gown/blouse/top/thingy

Annette Bening and Warren Beatty

Wow, I forgot about the award show… good thing I had my old Christening pinafore!

Evangeline Lilly and the Amazing Technicolor Speedo Gown (by Versace)

Evangeline Lilly

Dammit, I told my stylist I wanted a mermaid gown!

Always good for a laugh is Sharon Stone, here shown sucking the life force out of a much younger man

Sharon Stone

Hmmm… Cruella de Ville or Gloria Swanson? You decide!!

Ennh.

Sarah Paulson’s too-safe, not-really-there, not-really-doing-anything-for-me strapless champagne left me… bored

Sarah Paulson

Did I take “Sunset Strip” a little too literally, maybe?

Michelle Williams looked beautiful but she stuck with her knack of picking the wrong color for her skin

Michelle Williams

Yes it’s quite a warm shoulder

Cate Blanchett was flashing back to the 80’s in lace Alexander McQueen. We could’ve stayed in the present, but she is nevertheless radiant and adorable.

Cate Blanchett

Oh Ryan, You’re so Fine!

Jennifer Love Hewitt sports a Dangerous Liaisons bodice green gold gown

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Iron-clad, baby

J-Lo was not dispelling any pregnancy rumors in an Empire-waist Marchesa

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez

All worship goddess J-Lo

Dislikes

Cameron Diaz was looking a little harsh. I guess we’ll forgive her given the recent breakup, but… wow, soften up, girl.

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz

So, can I be in the next Batman movie?

Eva Longoria’s navy Ungaro gown with jeweled straps alllllmost won it for us out here in the sticks, but that overly dipped down backview (complete with the lower back tat) lands her in the dislikes pile

Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria

Am I cute from behind, too?

Drew Barrymore’s John Galliano for Christian Dior was simply known here in Brenham as “The Pink Towel” (actually when she was on stage it was quite nice, but… well, how can I pass up calling it the Pink Towel?)

Drew Barrymore

Drew Barrymore

Hey, at least I’m contained this year

Ali Larter of Heros was leaving very little to the imagination in her “Creamsicle” chest-less Monique L’Huillier wonder gown

Ali LarterAli Larter

Oh my god, I am so happy to be here, I better make sure I get on camera!!

Vanessa Minillo came as the Golden Glob

Vanessa Minillo

This will be on… NBC? Is that, like, the new MTV?

Ellen and J Lo share tips on dealing with huge falls of hair

Ellen Pompeo and Jennifer Lopez

Mmm, yes, mine’s fake, how’s yours?

Ellen Pompeo sports another Versace Speedo

Ellen Pompeo

Ellen Pompeo

Rip off this chiffon and I’m ready to slice through the waves

Vanessa Williams was bustin’ out and wild-eyed in a bad frizz and tasteless fur

Vanessa Williams

Are you talkin’ to me?

Although I adore her, I just couldn’t hang with Julia Louis Dreyfus’ chest-dripping-sequins cocktail length affair.

Julia Louis Dreyfus

Oh I’m just dripping with gilt

Homemade Cat Food

Posted on January 1st, 2007 in Commentary by mynagirl

The Disclaimer

I am not a vet. Nor a doctor. Nor a pet nutrionist of any kind. So… this is just my experience. I am not advocating anything or recommending that you do anything.

The History

Our one-eared tabby Tigger has been a bag of bones for a while. After our calico Scout died of Feline AIDS we knew that similar complications might develop in our other two cats, and when Tigger started getting thin and throwing up a lot we knew it was time to take her to the vet. She’s hyperthyroidal (read: the hungriest, yowliest, unsatisfiable cat on the planet) and has some heart problems, and constant hairball issues (thus the throwing up). So far she hasn’t tested FIV positive but she doesn’t have any white blood cells either so clearly something is happening here.

After even the meds weren’t putting any weight on her, we went through a series of canned cat food, trying in vain to find her something she would eat. $.77 / can at Wal-Mart Fancy Feast Gourmet Selections Whipped Salmon and Egg Mousse was rejected with a feline sniff and a yowl. Science Diet a/d (the weight gain kind) was liked somewhat, but not consistently. Nothing “stuck”. She wouldn’t eat, she was always hungry, and she was so thin and listless. Eventually we started feeding her pure tuna and salmon, which was doing so-so but she had a hard time eating the big chunks. The one thing she would wolf down was any spare scraps of beef I ever gave her as a treat.

So, I decided I would make her homemade food to try and come up with something that she would actually eat. I started with mostly beef and decided to throw in salmon and some oilier whole fish (sardines / kippers). I went for the fattiest cuts, mostly because Tigger was so undernourished and didn’t keep much down. (Our other cat Bouncie, once a giant fluffball, had lost weight in later years as well, so luckily this was probably okay for both animals). I prepared it all (as below) and threw it in the food processor. Our house smelled like a Norwegian fishing shack for two days, but it was worth it.

The Recipe

Proportions aren’t super important.

Basic Ingredients:

  • Pan-sauteed ground beef (I used the cheapest highest-fat beef I could find)
  • Kippers or sardines
  • Canned salmon (I got the big cans)
  • Cooked corn grits from scratch, no salt or butter
  • Light cream or half-and-half if desired

The Mixture

In a nice food processor, throw in a couple scoops of the beef (grease and all), a spoonful or two of grits, 3/4 of a can of salmon, one can of kippers or sardines, and a dash of half-and-half or light cream. Blend well into a nice mash. Scoop into tiny Glad containers and freeze, unfreezing as necessary (they will unfreeze overnight in the fridge).

The Result

Tigger is like a changed animal. The change into a bag of bones had been over some years, so we hadn’t even realized the change in her fur and eyes that went with it until all of a sudden her fur was shiny and fluffy, and her eyes were alert and sharp. She was relaxed, contented, happy, an actual cat again! Now, it’s not just the change in food — she takes medicine for the thyroid problem, the heart problem, and a laxative for the hairball problem. But the food really seemed like the final piece in this miracle turnaround for dear old Tigger. It’s nice to have her back.

Rocky Balboa (***)

Posted on December 27th, 2006 in Movie Reviews by EngineerBoy

When I first heard that Sylvester Stallone was making Yet Another Rocky Movie I cringed. How pitiful, I thought, that Sly would hang onto the lower rungs of Hollywood and exploit his purest achievement in a base attempt to recapture former glory.

Mea culpa. Boy, was I wrong, and I freely and joyfully admit it.

Rocky Balboa captures much (but not quite all) of the punch and emotion of the first Rocky film, and remains true to the original’s flashes of gritty realism mixed with slightly unbelievable heroic feats. However, if it were all believable then why would we go to the movies to see it? There’s nothing super-human and there’s no magical realism, and while the story is implausible it is not impossible. For those who don’t know, in the new film Rocky is an aging ex-champion boxer who runs a nice restaurant that traffics on his fame as a local Philly hero. Adrian, his wife, has been dead for several years and Rocky is going through the motions of trying to have a life after the loss of his soul-mate and in the face of his deepening estrangement from his son.

Rocky is still the kind, considerate palooka who speaks with simple wisdom and humor, and cares for those around him. Some guy he once knocked out eats free at his restaurant whenever he wants. A character from the first film, the young girl who Rocky walked home and admonished to stop smoking and quit hanging around with losers, is now a grown woman with a son of her own, and Rocky gives her a job and takes her son under his wing – with no romantic or lecherous undertones, just because he feels it’s the right thing to do.

But he misses Adrian. He spends a lot of time at her graveside visiting her. He takes a tour of old places from the first film – the pet store, ice skating rink, Mick’s boxing gym, his own old apartment, etc – and he drags his brother-in-law Paulie along with him, until Paulie can’t take it any more. You see, Rocky is living in the past and not moving on – he’s staying alive, but he’s festering.

In a parallel thread we learn about the current heavyweight champ, Mason “The Line” Dixon (great name!). He’s undefeated and undisputed, but he’s beaten all of his opponents so handily that nobody takes him seriously as he has yet to prove he has enough heart to go the distance against a worthy opponent.

And so one night ESPN airs a special in which a computer simulation of Rocky in his prime fights Dixon in his prime, and the computers say that Rocky would win. This gives Rocky the idea of getting back into boxing, even though he’s 60 years old. Nothing big, just local club fights, because as he tells Paulie, he’s still got some stuff in his emotional basement that he needs to deal with.

But Dixon’s handlers see this as an opportunity – set up an exhibition match between their guy and Rocky. They see it as no lose – their wunderkind will take it easy on the old coot, showing that he has heart and compassion, hopefully resulting in an expanded fan base and more dollars for the next pay-per-view against a *real* fighter.

But I guess they never saw the first Rocky film – Rocky *is* a real fighter. He starts training for the exhibition match and his trainer runs him through all of his physical limitations – no speed, arthritic legs, no stamina, etc – his only remaining boxing assets are his punch and his strength. So they work on those, because a puncher always has a chance if he can connect.

Finally, 3/4 of the way through the film, we get to the fight. The cocky young champ versus the aging warrior. The fight lives up to what you would expect, and in the end…well, I won’t spoil it by saying who wins. But suffice it to say that the fight ends on the correct note, as does the film, as does this film franchise.

Stallone has done something noble here – in a display of Rocky-like determination, he succeeded in the beginning against all the odds (the first Rocky film), slipped into complacency (Rocky’s II-IV), and then sunk into self-parody and pitiable self-exploitation with Rocky V. But with Rocky Balboa he has gotten up off the canvas one more time than he was knocked down, and that’s what it takes to go the distance. Not only go the distance, but win us over on points.

I have a small suggestion, which is to re-see the original Rocky before going to see this final chapter. Having the story of the original fresh in your mind will make this chapter even more poignant and hard-hitting. That’s what we did, sort of by dumb luck. I’ve had a TiVo Wish List for the original Rocky for quite some time, and it finally recorded on Turner Classic Movies last week. We watched it again and it was like visiting an old friend, and it prompted us to go see Rocky Balboa. We’re glad we did.

Esther’s Follies (***½)

Posted on December 18th, 2006 in Austin,Entertainment by EngineerBoy

http://www.esthersfollies.com

If you’re ever in Austin make time to go and see Esther’s Follies on Sixth Street. Part of me wants to refrain from giving away any details so that you can experience it fresh, but my take is that if you don’t already know some of what makes the Follies so good you may not go see it. I mean, if someone were to tell me that Esther’s Follies were a vaudeville-esque stage show that had been running continuously for over 20 years, I’d say something like “That sounds quaint…” and then check the movie listings. I mean, come on, really?! Nothing sounds more boring to me than a show filled with singing, dancing, “comedy” skits, and a local magician. I mean…ugh.

However, several years ago Mynagirl convinced me to go see the show, and it was a lot of fun. At that time the material was a bit dated (Ann Richards jokes?) and the seating was sardine-esque. Well, we went again this past weekend and while a coach seat on Continental is a freakin’ emporer’s throne compared to the mini-seats in the theater, the material was very fresh and super-funny. Our party ranged in age from 17 year old teen girl to a 61 year old grandfather and we all laughed our ***es off!

First off, the show is quite ribald, but they do allow children in – there’s no flashing of skin or anything, but the jokes and innuendos do sometimes end up just over the line on the skanky side of naughty, so if you’re not sure if the show will offend you then it probably will. However the show doesn’t just have naughty bits in order to be shocking, the naughty bits are also quite funny. The cast and crew are very talented and hard-working – you will see them before the show setting up, selling tickets, and helping to seat patrons. After the show you’ll see them setting up for the next show while the patrons file out. It has a very we’re-all-in-this-together-the-show-must-go-on feel to it.

The theater itself is entertaining just standing there. First, the inside is decorated in a strange underwater/pool motif (the “Esther” in Esther’s Follies refers to Esther Williams), with murals and sculptures, and gel lights, and all manner of strange, colorful, and engaging touches. The theater appears to hold around 500 people, and both times we’ve gone it’s been a complete sellout. The seats are little institutional stacking chairs with about a quarter-inch of padding and packed in cheek by jowl (well, cheek to cheek in normal human sitting configuration, but you get the gist).

But the ingenious conceit of the theater is that as you sit and look at the stage, the back wall of the stage, behind the performers, is a floor-to-ceiling picture window looking out onto Sixth Street at pedestrian level. Random revelers wander by the window in various states of sobrietary and awareness of the show – some are shocked when they realize an entire theater is watching them watch the show/pick their nose/scratch their nether regions/belch/smoke/stagger by. Also, the show itself spills out to the other side of the glass at odd times. It’s all very engaging and interesting and is a perfect fit for the bohemian geniality of Sixth Street.

Note that the show contains a lot of commentary on current events, with a definite liberal bent (duh!), so leave your dogma at the door and just enjoy the precise puncturing of pompous political prima-donnas.

The Execution of Saddam Hussein

Posted on December 3rd, 2006 in Politics by EngineerBoy

With startling speed, Saddam Hussein was executed last night. Mynagirl and I were enjoying a quiet evening at home with CNN Headline News playing as background noise when the news reports started. First it was that Hussein would be executed before the end of the year. Then it was that he would be executed some time this weekend. Then it was that he would be executed some time Friday evening. Then it was that he would be executed at dawn in Baghdad (10pm Eastern time).

Then he was dead, at 10:05pm Eastern. Just like that. I mean, yes, his trial had been ongoing, and the war seems endless, and I think we all knew he was going to end up dead. But to an American used to our justice system’s endless death sentence appeals process this felt closer to a lynching than an execution. Not that I think he was a railroaded innocent, or anything, it’s just that it seemed to happen without warning or preamble.

Which may have been the point. In a country so beset with violence it may be that such swift execution of his…execution…was necessary from a security perspective. If the date had been set days/weeks/months in advance then the date would have become a big, juicy target for symbolic actions. Doing the entire thing over the course of a few hours meant that anyone wanting to strike a symbolic blow in concert with the execution would have had to have a plan already in place and ready to go at a moments notice – and it looks like nobody did.

It would be foolish not to expect some aftershocks to this, however, and I will not be surprised when dramatic actions are taken in response. However, I have a perhaps naive feeling that the responses won’t be too grandiose, as I don’t believe that Hussein has much direct support for himself as a person, only as a power-base. So while Sunnis will lament the loss of their ascendancy and will dislike their new position as a persecuted minority, I don’t think that they’ll actually miss Hussein himself, only the protections he offered (and maintained with ruthless violence and oppression).

The saddest part of this entire story, to me, is that although he was a maniacal bastard, Saddam Hussein had tried to set Iraq up as the only secular country in the entire region. Iraq was not ruled by the Islamic Sharia laws, but by a western-style set of courts and laws. Women and Christians had positions of power within the government and the business world. Hussein hoped to spread secular rule across the Arab world, with Iraq leading the way, naturally.

Stop for a moment and consider that fact. Saddam Hussein took Iraq and molded it into a country that was tolerant of religious differences (except when those differences opposed the rule of Hussein), championed the rights of women, rejected fanatical Islam and the Sharia law that rules the rest of the Islamic world, and instituted a reasonable facsimile of a fair and just court system. One only has to consider how quickly Iraq devolved into sectarian violence after his fall to understand the monumental nature of his achievements. However, while his ends may have had some noble facets, his means were definitely unacceptable to the civilized world. Using nerve gas against his own people, fomenting a brutal war with Iran, invading Kuwait.

That was perhaps his fatal mistake. The US tolerates evil dictators all around the world all the time. However, when Iraq invaded Kuwait that immediately doubled the world oil supply under Hussein’s control from 10% to 20%. This worried the US and the UK. It also worried Saudi Arabia. Kuwait had been no friend of the US up to this point, and was in fact aligned with Russia. However, the US and Russia worked together in the UN to give Iraq a deadline for leaving Kuwait. Hussein responded in an amazingly intelligent way – he said he would withdraw from Kuwait if Israel would return the Gaza Strip and the West Bank to Palestinian rule. This of course set up a situation where those supporting the US also appeared to be supporting Israel, creating even more confusion over his invasion of Kuwait. In the end the US and allies ignored any connection to the Palestinian issue and moved in to chase Iraq out of Kuwait.

That’s really when the wheels started to come off for Saddam Hussein. Opposition increased in his own country, and the US amazingly aided him by suspending no-fly zones to allow him to suppress uprisings in the north. Then in 1993 the Iraq Intelligence Service attempted to assassinate President George H. W. Bush during a visit to Kuwait. This was the beginning of the end for Saddam’s regime. The US and UN continued to find Iraq in violation of edicts prohibiting the development of WMDs. Saddam began portraying himself as a devout Muslim in an effort to court the proponents of the growing radical Islamic movement, and he also re-instituted some of the Sharia laws.

President Clinton maintained the economic sanctions and imposition of military restraints on Iraq, and continued to work with the UN to inspect Iraq facilities to ensure that WMDs were not being developed. Hussein, of course, bristled under this micromanagement of *his* country and so was resistant and uncooperative with inspections and reporting.

The ultimate irony is that if Hussein had simply let the inspections happen, he’d probably still be in power today, as we have since discovered that he was definitely not developing weapons of mass destruction. It appears that his resistance to inspections was more about megalomania and paranoia than about protecting secret programs. However, by not allowing the UN to write him a clean bill of health, Hussein left the door open for the…creative development?…of “intelligence” showing that he was developing WMDs and was also in cahoots with Al Qaeda (which we also now know was completely untrue).

Now, stop and think about that again for a moment. Somebody somewhere in the US government purposely falsified intelligence showing development of WMDs and cahooting with Al Qaeda. The upper echelons of the executive branch accepted this so-called “intelligence” even in the face of clear and compelling evidence showing the exact opposite. Not only did the White House ignore such evidence, it vilified those who dared to raise a voice in opposition to the war, and squashed any initiatives that attempted to gather information for alternative realities.

When you put the facts together it is difficult to come up with an explanation more plausible than the one where the White House orchestrated the entire thing, or at least used extreme selectivity in evaluating intelligence to lead the US into an inevitable war. We, the people, were thirsting for vengeance at the time, and our seemingly good work in Afghanistan whetted our appetites for a little more democracy-spreading. And regardless of any trumped-up evidence, there is no way to stand and defend Saddam Hussein as an innocent. But, why him, and why then? In cases such as this it’s always easiest for me to follow the money, as you’ll see below.

Accomplishments in Iraq:

  • A ruthless dictator has been deposed.
  • Iraq has devolved into sectarian violence.
  • Iraqi citizens are dying at a rate that is greater, by orders of magnitude, than the rate they died under Saddam’s regime.
  • Three thousand plus US soldiers have been killed.
  • Radical, Islamic fundamentalism is spreading like wildfire in the region.
  • Israel is rattling their nuclear sabers, even though they won’t say they have them.
  • Iran is very close to acquiring nuclear sabers.
  • An ineffective, US-slavish, puppet “government” has been installed.
  • The revenue for Iraq’s oil is going to…who, exactly?

So, only one good thing in that list (deposition of tyrant). And the last entry, well, that’s the $64,000(,000,000) question now, isn’t it? Who, exactly, is controlling Iraq’s oil? I have zero facts about that, but I will take a good guess that somebody like Halliburton is raking in huge “management fees” for administering Iraq’s oil reserves. Iraq has a GDP of around $94 billion, 95% of which comes from oil. So let’s call it $90 billion per year.

If you figure, conservatively, that the US will be involved in “managing” the Iraqi oil reserves for, let’s say, 10 years, that’s about $1 trillion factoring in normal inflation rates. Also figure that we’ll continue to lose, what?…somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 troops per year on average over that time? So that gives us the following equation:

$1,000,000,000,000 / 8,000 lost troops = $125,000,000 per dead soldier

Now, there are factors here other than oil. So let’s take away 10% of that for the general good of deposing a dictator. And, let’s let W have 5% for the revenge factor of deposing the maniac what almost kilt his daddy. That leaves $106,250,000 per dead soldier in the pursuit of oil. Now, do the soldiers families get any of that? I mean, even a broker gets a 10% commission for finding a deal – shouldn’t these soldiers families get at least that? That would be $10,625,000 per family, by my calculations.

Keep in mind that as unrest grows in the Middle East, and fanatical Islamism spreads, and the worlds supply of oil is threatened, the price of oil will continue to rise. Hmm. So a cynical man might say that the President’s buddies in the oil patch are not only profiting from the Iraqi invasion, but will also profit handsomely from continued unrest in the area? And the US government executive actions have served almost exactly and precisely to foment continued unrest in the area? That’s just curious now, isn’t it?

Also, if the US government is so worried about the welfare of the world, why aren’t we in the Sudan helping to quell the genocide in Darfur? Accepted statistics state 400,000 dead so far. Oh, wait, they only produce $5 billion per year from oil – guess that’s not enough to cost-justify an invasion?

I will finish this rant by stating that while I am reasonably intelligent and definitely opinionated, I am ignorant of the specifics of what drove us to invade Iraq and of what’s going on with Iraq’s oil. Please don’t tell me to “research it”, because the only thing that research will reveal is what story is being told by those in control. It won’t tell me what’s transpiring in back rooms and undisclosed locations. It won’t tell me whether or not we invaded Iraq to depose a dictator, to “liberate” their oil reserves to US control, to take revenge for an attempted assassination, and/or for other reasons altogether. That is information that I will never know, unless it comes out in W’s posthumous writings, or some investigative journalist grows a pair and actually digs up the facts.

And so I am left to piece together the “truth” from what little slivers of facts are actually available. And the puzzle pieces fit together to form a very ugly picture, indeed.

Healthy Skepticism and Critical Thinking

Posted on November 21st, 2006 in Commentary by EngineerBoy

When I was in middle school we studied about a new ship built by Howard Hughes that was going to harvest nickel and manganese nodules off of the ocean floor. We learned that volcanic and tectonic processes had littered the ocean floor with hardened globs of nearly pure nickel, manganese, and other various metals, and that harvesting them with a specialized ship would be cheaper and more ecologically friendly than traditional mining and smelting.

We learned that the engineers at Hughes’ ship company had developed radical new technology that could be lowered from a surface ship to the deep parts of the ocean floors, and to identify and snag said nodules and haul them to the surface. The prototype nodule harvesting ship was called the Glomar Explorer. It was all very cool and interesting to science geek like me, and the nerd factor combined with the always mysterious and reclusive Howard Hughes made this subject incredibly interesting to me and my cohorts.

However, a year or so after learning all about the Glomar Explorer and the natural forces that created metal nodules, I then learned that the entire story was a lie. Well, not all of it, just the purpose of the ship was a lie – the ship itself had indeed been built for the purposes of retrieving stuff from deep ocean waters. However, what it was designed to do was to retrieve a sunken Soviet nuclear sub so that US intelligence could get their hands on it.

The short version of the story is that the US knew that a Soviet nuclear sub called the K-129 had sunk in water so deep that conventional wisdom said it was forever lost. However, the CIA wanted to get their hands on the sub, but were unable or unwilling to go through normal governmental channels to try to develop the technology needed to recover it. So, they contacted reclusive, patriotic billionaire Howard Hughes, and he agreed to put his not inconsiderable wealth and the technical expertise of his engineers to work developing a way to snag the sub. You can read a lot more about the Glomar Explorer here.

To say I was flabbergasted to learn the truth would be an understatement. I had been taught about the Glomar Explorer in school by my teachers, for crying out loud. Authority figures. Trustworthy elders. But they had been duped along with me. Yes, manganese nodules existed on the ocean floor, but not in quantities that would make it worthwhile to harvest. And yes, Hughes built the Glomar Explorer to grab stuff from the ocean floor with a giant claw. But that was all a cover story, which cracked within a year or so and the truth came out.

To top it all off, during the time that all of this was happening the US was also losing its political innocence via the Watergate break-in and cover up. I won’t bore with those details (because you should already know them), but suffice it to say that Watergate was a cold slap in the face with a dead mackeral to anyone who had unfailing faith in the rightness, justness, and truthiness of their federal government.

These two events caused me to really open my eyes and to carefully assess all the “facts” that I was taught in school, heard on the news, and read in the papers. It didn’t make me jaded so much as give me a healthy skepticism, and also an understanding that “truth” was a very slippery concept, and that the tellers of tales always filtered their stories through their own sensibilities (in the best case) and/or transmogrified their stories to suit their Machiavillian goals (the normal case (see, there’s that healthy skepticism)).

United Sheep of America

However, in America today I find an astonishing lack of healthy skepticism and critical thinking. It appears to me that people move through the buffet line of available political and social identities, pick the one they most closely identify with, and then cloak themselves in it without ever questioning the basic tenets and pontificating pundits of said identity. They pick their team and they stick with it, through thick and thin. Unfortunately, politics, government, and social reform are not a game and blind loyalty to one’s “team” is simply laziness, ignorance, pig-headedness, and/or stupidity. For more on the topic of American’s sheeplike tendencies see Believe and Belong: American Politics, Religion, and Sports elsewhere on this site.

But it’s not just those areas where people seem to follow blindly, it’s everywhere. For example, I know people who will put absolute faith in one single direct experience of one single person when making an automobile purchasing decision, and will flippantly dismiss rigorously compiled independent safety, performance, and reliability data. “Bob loves his Volkswagen Touareg, never had a problem.” Yeah, well, what if Bob is a strutting ignoramus who would never deign to impugn his own purchasing decisions? What if Consumer Reports says the Touareg has reliability rating of “Much worse than average”? Doesn’t matter, as all the empirical data in the world is meaningless because…well…because I don’t know why.

That’s a big blind spot for me, I have to admit. I pride myself on the fact that I can usually at least understand the other person’s point of view in most discussions/disagreements. But in this one I can’t fathom the logic (or lack of) in making such a major purchasing decision based on curb appeal and hearsay. Right now there are thousands of very unhappy Touareg owners out there who could have saved themselves a lot of greenbacks and heartache by doing 10 minutes of research before purchasing.

I have discussed this very behavior with several people who bought known-crappy vehicles that turned out to be very repair-prone, and asked why they wouldn’t check with Consumer Reports first. I universally got the same answer, which was that since a good rating with CR didn’t *guarantee* a good car, and a bad rating didn’t *guarantee* a bad car, that made the Consumer Reports ratings worthless. That’s really what they said. My response, of course, was that although they were correct that CR ratings provided no guarantees that didn’t make them worthless and that the CR ratings were still a strong predictor of reliability. But that logic fell on deaf ears. No guarantee equals no validity. Period.

Probability and Statistics

One of the most boring yet challenging courses I took in college was Probability and Statistics. One of the big things you learn in Prob and Stat is that there are very few sure things, and very few precise statistics. For example, a recent CNN story declared that “a new study adds to mounting evidence that older people who regularly attend religious services are healthier than those who don’t“. The article makes no mention of the fact that an equally plausible explanation is that older people who are healthier are better able to get up, get dressed, and get to and from church services. The article implies causality, meaning that going to church causes better health, but ignores the equally logical explanation that better health increases the ability to attend church.

My take is that CNN was merely reporting what the researchers reported, but this kind of lazy logic is pervasive, and the saddest part is that the American public accepts it. Not only accepts it, but doesn’t even notice it! I have discussions about these kinds of topics with (identity redacted to protect the innocent) and (ditto) and when presented with alternative explanations they respond with, yes, that could be true, but if it is then why are they reporting the opposite on the news? The possibility that the producers of news are either ignorant, apathetic, or manipulative seem to be unthinkable because, well, they’re “the news”, right?

There is an infinitely interesting book that relates to this topic called Freakonomics, which focuses in part on the confusion among the American masses between causality and correlation. All people have a tendency to look for things that are correlated and then try to figure out causality. Freakonomics relates the story of a dictator/king who noticed that the areas in his kingdom with the most doctors also had the most sick people. He concluded that doctors caused sickness and ordered the slaughter of doctors. We in the modern world can look back and cluck our tongues at the primitive foolishness of such a conclusion and action.

However, we in the modern world are guilty of similar dumb conclusions, if not necessarily on the same scale as slaughtering doctors. Violent musical lyrics cause teen murders and suicides? There may be a correlation between troubled teens and troubling music, but how about the equally plausible explanation that disturbed teens fixate on dark themes? Doesn’t that make as much, or more, sense? Charles Manson was obsessed with the Beatles song Helter Skelter, for crying out loud, and while that song does have some imagery none of it is violent or murderous. But Mr. Manson used the song as the crux to stir his devotees up into a murderous state and send them out to do his bidding. Would the absence of Helter Skelter have prevented the Manson Family murders? Highly unlikely. And Columbine? Disturbed, disaffected teens take guns to school and murder their classmates and we choose to blame…music? What about parents? What about teachers and counselors? What about friends? What about all of the normal social support structures that were supposed to catch and help these kids? It all failed. I’m sure it was because of music, aren’t you?

Okay Smart Guy, What If You’re Right?

So let’s say for the sake of argument that you agree with, or at least stipulate for the sake of argument, the assertions in this article. So what? The American public are ignorant lunkheads sitting around waiting to believe without question the next barely plausible report they hear from their preferred information sources. Who cares? And even more to the point, what could be done about it if it were true? The sad truth is nothing can be done directly in the short term. The causes of this mass gullibility can only be speculated upon, but my theory is that we are inundated with information to the point where trying to assess and process it all has become nearly impossible. Blogs, feeds, customized news pages, 24 hour news networks, headline news networks, satellite radio, traditional print media, etc, etc, etc. It can become so overwhelming that instead of trying to find and assess their own information, people instead find information sources that they put their faith in, and then consume the speculation, opinions, and conclusions from these sources as gospel. The selection of sources typically is based on finding an outlet that is loudly screaming the primary beliefs of the searching consumer.

I think and hope that the big pendulum of the universe will swing back the other way, back to hard news reported by reporters who are trying to satisfy their intelligent viewers, not infotainment recited by spokesmodels who are trying to hump their owners/sponsors. I know that there are others like me who want balanced, investigative journalism, not ratings-grabbing vitriol. However, it’s easier today for the media to make money by appealing to discrete, easily definable, thickly populated demographics than by striving to be an unimpeachable source of factual information. There are still truth-seekers out there, and I think it falls to each of us to shake off our lethargic passivity, get up, go to our windows and shout, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this any more!”.

Go ahead, try it. Howard Beale, Bob Woodward, Mike Wallace, Walter Cronkite, Carl Bernstein, Ed Bradley, and Edward R. Murrow would be proud of you.

« Previous Page — Next Page »