CleverDonkey.com …Musings, Commentary, Opinions, and Drivel

We discovered Burn Notice a couple of weeks ago and really fell in love with it, and have now watched all episodes from Season 1 and Season 2.  There are very few prime-time shows that we watch with any regularity – and even those few have fallen by the wayside as we’ve been watching nothing but Burn Notice whenever we get a chance.

The main character is Michael Westen (played by Jeffrey Donovan), and when the series starts he’s a spy in the employ of the US government, but in the middle of a treacherous deal they basically cut him off and leave him out in the cold – someone put out a “burn notice” on him, meaning cut all ties, shred all records, freeze all accounts, and just let him go.

Burn notices are usually only put out on people who have either screwed up royally or who have been found to be untrustworthy.  Michael is neither and so starts a quest to find out who put out a trumped-up burn notice on him and why.  He has to take odd-jobs as a problem-solver in order to make ends meet, and he has the help of his ex-girlfriend, Fiona (played by Gabrielle Anwar), and by a buddy who is a “retired” FBI agent (played by the man, the myth, the legend – Mr. Bruce Campbell).

Michael also has to deal with his mother (played by Sharon Gless, who you may remember as Cagney from Cagney & Lacy) and his dysfunctional family relationships.  The series does a nice job of weaving Michael’s personal drama and professional challenges into cohesive stories.

The series also does a good job of not dumbing down the storylines, and not taking the easy way out when it comes to dealing with technology, weapons, combat, and spy tactics.  It’s not “realistic” or it wouldn’t be engaging television, but it’s not as insulting, dismissive, and/or lazy as some other shows of this type that we’ve seen.

The dialog is sharply written and witty, the production values are slick and high-gloss, the acting is great all-around, and Bruce Campbell is in the role he was born to play – a retired, boozy, tanned, aging lothario who still has the moves and connections, but wants to do nothing more than sit in the sun drinking mojitos (that somebody else buys).

We heard about this series when it premiered last year, but the fact that it was on the USA Network made us suspicious.  Well, we were wrong.  The series is great and we love it.  Our only problem is now we want to vacation in Miami…not necessarily the real Miami, but the version of Miami that Michael is trapped in.

And we also crave yogurt.

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I was in the mood to watch a movie this weekend, but nothing at any of the nearby theaters was really grabbing at me.  I’d seen the ads for Paul Blart: Mall Cop and chuckled a bit, and I think Kevin James is a naturally funny guy, so I figured I’d give it a shot even though it looked like it might be a throwaway.  I’m glad I did.

This film is almost exactly what you’d expect – Paul Blart is a mall cop, he’s a loveable loser, he takes his job much more seriously than is called for, and when trouble invades the mall he has a chance to redeem himself and become the hero.  Think of it as a comedic homage to Die Hard, set in a New Jersey mall, only the cop (uh, make that security officer)  doesn’t have a gun and the bad guys ride skateboards and bikes.

You see, Paul Blart dreams of joining the New Jersey State Police.  He’s a big guy, but he’s in shape, he’s not dumb, and the only reason he can’t qualify is that his hypoglycemia causes him to fall asleep at random times.  So he takes all of his drive to protect and serve and uses it in his job as a mall cop.

In his home life he’s trying his best to raise a daughter as a single dad, and his daughter and his mother provide moral support for his career and aspirations.  His fellow security guards are mostly just clock punchers who don’t take their work nearly as seriously as Paul.  Then, on Black Friday, a group of thieves take over the mall hoping to make a big score, and Paul gets trapped inside as the only peace officer that can help free the hostages and catch the bad guys.

Let’s just say that action and comedy ensue from there.  There is very little violence, and no cursing, bloodshed, or nudity/sexuality to speak of, other than the surprisingly genuine spark between Paul Blart and kiosk-worker Amy (played by the perky Jayma Mays).  And the good news is that all of the funny bits are not revealed in the trailer.

And that’s the key – Paul Blart: Mall Cop is FUNNY and the story is reasonably engaging for a comedy like this.  When the movie finished, my packed theater erupted into spontaneous applause.  Kevin James embodies his role with a perfect combination of gusto, machismo, earnestness, dopiness, and heroism. 

And, man, can he ride a Segway.

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Idiocracy is the latest film by Mike Judge, who also created Office Space.  It was released in 2006, playing in only a handful of theaters with no advance publicity of any kind, and it quickly made the jump to DVD.  However, if there is any movie in recent memory that SHOULD have played endlessly at the multiplexes of America, it was Idiocracy.

As we here in the United States drown in a downward spiral of reality TV, processed foods, bombastic advertising, mindlessly large corporations, zombified workforces, and borderline retarded elected leaders, Idiocracy perfectly describes the water with devastatingly funny, sadly accurate satire and wit.

The story revolves around Joe (Luke Wilson), a current-day soldier who is selected, along with Rita (Maya Rudolph), to participate in a year-long human hibernation study.  However, while they are in stasis, the people in charge of the super-secret study are arrested for unrelated reasons, and Joe and Rita are forgotten about – for 500 years.

When they awaken they are greeted with a future where Joe, initially selected for his averageness, is now the smartest person in the world.  You see, as the movie explains, with no natural predators man has not evolved to favor the most intelligent problem solvers, man has instead evolved to favor promiscuity and dumbness, because that combination leads to the most babies, and the absence of poverty, disease, hunger, or hardship means that those offspring continue to survive and reproduce, causing human intelligence levels to decrease with each passing generation until mankind has reached the point where it can no longer maintain the technology of society, and the collapse of civilization is imminent.

One example of this devolution is that a huge company has signed an exclusive agreement to replace the water in the nation’s water supply with their sports-drink, called Brawndo.  So, everywhere you go the water fountains and faucets supply Brawndo instead of water.  Unfortunately, even the portions of the water supply used for agriculture are replaced with Brawndo, and nobody in the dumbass future understands that plants need water to grow, so there is a looming food crisis.  All this is fostered by ubiquitous advertising which claims that Brawndo’s got electrolytes, which is what plants crave.  Joe, of course, is confused by the ubiquity of Brawndo, and the future-doofuses simply mock him for wanting to drink “toilet water”, as apparently the only place water is still used is for flushing. 

It actually takes a while for Joe to figure out how long he’s been frozen.  When he first wakes up he’s confused and doesn’t feel well, so he stumbles into a hospital for help.  After a reasonably revolting medical test, he meets with a doctor who gives him his diagnosis that:  “…it says here on your chart that you’re all fucked up, you talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded.”  Indeed.

Also, in the future most people have at least one brand name as part of their full name – for example the diagnosis above is given by a Dr. Lexus, and Joe meets and befriends a “lawyer” named Frito Pendejo.  Also, current actual brand names are used throughout the movie, in some cases with surprisingly unexpected evolutions of their primary products and/or advertising.  For example, Carl’s Jr.’s slogan is “Fuck you, I’m eating”, an idiocratic evolution of their current slogan of “Don’t bother me, I’m eating”, Costco stores have grown to the size of cities and a greeter greets each customer by saying “Welcome to Costco, I love you”, and the Fuddruckers chain’s name has evolved from Fuddruckers to Futtbuckers to Buttruckers to, finally, Buttfuckers.

Joe’s relative hyper-intelligence is finally recognized, and he is tasked with “saving the world” by President Dwayne Elizando Mountain Dew Hector Camacho, who makes him Secretary of the Interior.  Joe is reluctant to take on the task, as in his own mind he’s no genius, so at the first opportunity he slips away to try and find the rumored “Time Masheen” that will let him go back to his original time and place, and back to his safe, ordinary, averageness.

In restrospect, it’s easy to see why the studio didn’t put much effort into promoting this film.  First of all, so many huge name-brands are skewered here that any revenues could have easily been lost to lawsuits (Starbucks giving handjobs?!).  Also, the target demographic for major Hollwood movies are the typical dumbasses in the typical multiplex, and this movie would have insulted them (if they could even have understood it) by pointing out to them that they are the seeds of the downfall of humanity, if for no other reason than the fact that their lack of discriminating taste put “300”, “Shrek the Third”, and “Alvin and the Chipmunks” in the top 10 highest grossing films for 2007 (really).

It’s also easy to see that this film was released by the wrong studio – Fox, to be exact.  If it weren’t for slack-jawed dumbasses who are slavishly influenced by advertising, who are hypnotized by slapstick violence, and who lack the ability to think critically, the Fox empire wouldn’t exist.  Even Fox is smart enough to know that you don’t make money by insulting your constituency.

And this brings us to the drivers that prompted this review, two years after the release of the film.  First and foremost, the film is incredibly well done and funny as hell.  But second, and more importantly, I think that this film has precisely described what is going on in America today, and shows us the logical (if exaggerated) conclusion if things keep going the way they are.  At the risk of sounding elitist, I have a reasonably high IQ and am reasonably well-read and knowledgable about the world, and while this movie made me laugh, it also, upon reflection, scared the hell out of me.

In my lifetime I’ve seen a lot of progress by mankind and I’ve always had an optimistic view of the future – not that I expected things to become perfect, just that overall, bottom-line, after factoring in all the successes and failures, we as a society would tend to make progress towards a more enlightened, safe, and enjoyable future. 

However, it’s beginning to feel that we’ve peaked, and are now starting a downward slide.  Superstition, dogma, and ignorance are not only supplanting logic and reason, but are being embraced and promoted as positive values.  Our political process has become such a farce that it feels more like a reality show competition than a quest to find the greatest possible leaders.  Seriously, I can’t think of a single political leader in my lifetime worthy of respect and awe.  In fact, I can’t think of one who wasn’t wildly deserving of scorn and derision.  Even the ones who come close to being true leaders are obscured by the fact that the political machine marginalizes them into impotence, and they wave their tiny fists in the air and squeak like caged mice, all with the best of intentions, but all for naught.

In the end, We the People are to blame for our situation.  We could, in one single election year, throw out each and every bum currently in office and replace them with true thinkers and leaders.  But we don’t.  We could, with only a little effort, choose to live within our means and spend our hard-earned money on quality products from ethical companies.  But we don’t.  We could, with just a little backbone, ensure that each and every child in this country gets a rich, full, well-rounded education.  But we don’t.  We could, with a little introspection, choose to idolize great thinkers, great artists, great writers, great inventors, and people of great character instead of the constant stream of vapid, artificial celebrities-du-jour.  But we don’t.

And we could choose to stave off the coming Idiocracy, by fighting against the encroachment of ignorance and complacency into the realm of reason and ambition.  I try to do that, each and every day, and although sometimes it feels like a lonely task, I know that there are others out there doing the same thing.  Know that you are not alone.

Oh, and watch Idiocracy, it’s fucking hilarious, scro!

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Hamlet 2 is one of those movies that you simply don’t (and can’t) expect, and I mean that in a good way.  Is it a satire on inspirational teacher movies?  Yes.  Is it a parody of great-but-misunderstood-artist movies?  Yes.  Does it mock innocent-white-girl-falls-for-tough-chicano-gang-banger?  Yes.

Does it insult Tucson?  Yes.  Does David Arquette’s character say less than 10 words in his running cameo?  Yes (approximately).  Does Elisabeth Shue have a small part?  Yes.  Who does she play?  Herself, working as a nurse at a Tucson hospital after burning out and leaving Hollywood behind. 

Does the inspirational teacher go on an acid trip?  Yes.  Is Catherine Keener both a) looking her age and b) still damn sexy?  Yes (pay attention, Hollywood and actresses).

Is there a song in the play-within-the-film called Rock Me, Sexy Jesus?  Yes (see photo, above).  Is it funny in spite of the fact that it sounds like it would be stupid?  Yes.  Is there a song in the play-within-the-film called Raped in the Face?  Uh, yes.  Is it as bad as it sounds?  Uh, yes…and no.

So, if I were reading this review, this is the point where I would probably tune out and go look for some other movie to watch.  However, I would end up missing out on a very original and funny film.  However, the description above sounds like it could be describing a painfully juvenile, unfunny schlock-fest.  Well, this film has all of those elements, but it *knows* it has those elements, and it mocks those elements before turning them on their head and…well…er…raping them in the face, I guess?

Anyway, the basic storyline centers on a high school theater teacher named Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan) – the last name is pronounced “marsh-z”, like the word marsh, but with a tiny, quick little zzz sound tacked onto the end.  Coogan plays Marschz as a sort of bastard love child of Tiny Tim, Eric Idle, Pee Wee Herman, and Weird Al Yankovich (try not to visualize).  His story is that from the time he was a young boy in Canada he wanted to act on the stage, and he pursued his dream in spite of the objections (and molestations) of his father.  However, he has come to the latter half of his life and has realized that while he has a pure and perfect love for acting on the stage, he doesn’t have any talent for it.  So, he now finds himself teaching high school theater in Tucson for gas money.

The highlight of each semester is, of course, the staging of a big play.  Marschz typically stages plays based on recent popular movies (Erin Brockovich, for example), and he’s as good of a director as he is an actor, which is that he isn’t.  His nemesis is a young boy who writes for the school paper and gives his plays scathingly bad reviews.  His cohorts are the two (and only two) theater geek kids in the school, who are equally untalented.

However, with the start of the new semester the class ends up full, due to the cancellation of most other elective courses.  And the influx of new students is made up almost entirely of Hispanic kids, who could not care less about theater, at least at first.  However, Mr. Marschz, while a bit of a Magoo, is not a complete fool or clown, and he does actually manage to begin to reach these keeeds. 

However, just when things are looking up, Marschz learns that the school will be cutting the theater program completely at the end of the semester.  And that his pregnant wife (Keener) is leaving him – for another man, who happens to be their boarder (David Arquette) as well as the father of her child.  Oh, and Marschz also learns that he’s infertile and has been “firing blanks”.  And, finally, he falls off his seven year sobriety wagon by going on a bender fueled by schnapps, grain alcohol, and roller skates.

Sounds like a hoot, huh?  Well, he’s also managed to write an original play with the hopes of staging it to show the school that he can, in fact, provide an inspirational and productive theater class environment.  The play is called Hamlet 2, and it is exactly that – the sequel to the play Hamlet, by William Shakespeare.  Now, the fact that all of the principle characters are dead by the end of the original Hamlet is no problem because he devises a…

You know what?  I’ll let you find out that part for yourself.  Suffice it to say that the first 3/4 of the film are a buildup to the grand finale, which is the play.  That leadup is so funny that I was afraid there would be no way for the play-within-the-film to live up to the leadup.  But it does, it is hilarious.

Is the play a success?  Yes.  Is there a happy ending?  Yes.  Does Amy Poehler’s ACLU-lawyer character say that the “Bible humpers” who are protesting the blasphemous content of the play can “suck on a bag of dicks”?  Yes.

If you can see how that line could be funny and absurd, then Hamlet 2 might be the right film for you.

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Tropic Thunder is flat out hilarious.  I’m not a huge fan of Ben Stiller’s ouevre (or his movies), and I can’t recall one of his films I really liked or wanted to see more than once.  Zoolander and There’s Something About Mary were okay, but nothing to write home about.  I barely chuckled at either Parents movie.  I couldn’t watch all of the Museum movie.  Can’t really remember any others.

Suffice it to say I’m not a Stiller fanboy.  I’m still not, but I’m a big fan of Tropic Thunder.  The film is the story of the making of the film-within-a-film Tropic Thunder, based on the book by a Vietnam war vet (played pitch-perfectly by Nick Nolte).  The production is struggling, so the director (Steve Coogan) opts to go for a more cinema verite approach, by taking his actors into the deep jungle and filming them with hidden cameras, while the maniacal effects supervisor (Danny McBride) shell-shocks them with explosions, incoming fire, and other nastiness.

Hilarity ensues, as they say.

First of all, Jack Black’s performance is spectacular – he looks like Brian Dennehy from 20 years ago, if Dennehy had been in the middle of a roller-coaster, hyper-manic, drug-raged, flame-out-spiral.  I can’t think of another actor today who could have pulled of Black’s role with such…conviction?  Robert Downey Jr. plays a dude who’s playing a dude who’s playing another dude, and puts on an acting tour de farce.  And Ben Stiller manages not to upset the balance – his character is the himbo fading action star desperately hanging on the bottom rung of stardom (and apparently doing a metric buttload of pull-ups, judging from his ripped arms).

Things go off the rail for the production when the actors stumble across actual bad guys – a jungle-dwelling drug kingpin and his village of minions.  The storyline follows the expected path from there, with at least some of the actors thinking that they’re still being tormented by the director in order to give better performances, while others have an inkling that they might be in real trouble.

The film represents a pointy stick right in the eye of Big Hollywood, and it lampoons all facets of the movie business.  Keep your eyes peeled for all the cameos, they come fast and furious, with some celebs playing themselves and other playing thinly-disguised self-parodies (and in some cases both at the same time). 

So, if you like movies, and the movie business, and movies about the movie business, and movies about making movies, then Tropic Thunder may be the movie for you.

Oh, and through the course of the film try to keep a running estimate of the budget for the soundtrack – it had to be monstrous…

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To see the Power Rankings for the 2012 Games, click here!

Forget medal count – who cares if countries with hundreds of millions (or even billions) of people win a lot of medals?  They should win a lot of medals, right?  The big question is, which country is kicking ass in their weight class?  The answer is in the table below.

This table creates a weighted medal score by giving each country three points for each gold medal, two points for each silver, and one point for each bronze.  The country’s Power Rating is calculated by determining how many weighted medal points each country wins per 10,000,000 in population.  And to factor in economics, the population only includes those living above the poverty level (according to CIA poverty estimates).

As of this final update (Sunday, 8/24/2008, 10:00am CDT), the Jamaicans have maintained their position and taken first place in the Power Rankings – all fruits ripe, mon!  The Bahamians held on for second place, and Iceland snuck into third place in the last day of competition.  Mongolia and Slovenia rounded out the top five.

Congratulations to all, and we’ll see you again in four years!

To see the Power Rankings for the 2012 Games, click here!

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Don’t forget to come back in four years – we’ll be tracking the medal races again!!

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There have been a handful of movies that have changed me, meaning that they were so impactful that after I watched them I was a different person.  Apocalypse Now, A Clockwork Orange, Eraserhead, Full Metal Jacket – films like that.  Now add to the list an unexpected entry – Skidoo.

Skidoo is not like the other films on the list – they are dark, brooding, and profound.  Skidoo is…well, it’s….kind of…hm…like…well…indescribable.  It’s not really dark or brooding.  Any profundity is tongue-in-cheek.  It’s funny, both intentionally and unintentionally.  It has a bizarre story line.

That’s the word for it – bizarre.  If you’re like me, you’ve never heard of this movie.  I hadn’t either until it popped up recently on Turner Classic Movies one late-night/early-morning.  I consider myself a sort of film dilletante – not really a student of film, but a bit more well-informed than the average American filmgoer.  And I didn’t have a glimmer about the existence of this film, which is surprising, in retrospect.

If you are of a certain age and someone were to describe to you a film that starred Groucho Marx, Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Frankie Avalon, Michael Constantine, Frank Gorshin, Peter Lawford, Mickey Rooney, Cesar Romero, Slim Pickens, and George Raft, you might take that cast list, factor in the year it was made (1968), and think you could make an educated guess as to what the film would be like – maybe an undiscovered cousin of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, or something. 

Well, you’d be wrong. 

Skidoo is…overwhelmingly unexpected.  I hesitate to describe it because watching it without any preface is a delicious experience, but I’m more concerned with doing whatever I can to help get a broader audience for this soon-to-be-cult film.  If you don’t want to know the basic plot then blur your eyes and scroll down until the following indented purple text is off the screen:

The basic storyline is that Groucho Marx plays a gangster nicknamed “God”.  He heads up a nationwide protection racket that controls just about all the criminals in the country.  He is a germophobe and lives in hermitic seclusion aboard his yacht, sealed off behind steel doors, communicating with the outside world via teleconferencing (in 1968!!?!?), and spending his time playing bumper-pool with his scantily clad, Amazon-like, willowy, nubian-ish, right-hand girl.

Jackie Gleason is “Tough Tony”, a former hit-man for God who has long-since retired from the biz.  But God reaches out and strong-arms Tony into doing one last hit, or “kiss” as they call it in this film.  Tony is reformed and doesn’t want to “kiss” anybody for God, but he’s backed into a corner.

Carol Channing plays Tough Tony’s wife, and she spends the film sleeping her way up the chain of command to get to God and find out where her husband is and what he’s doing.

Frankie Avalon plays a mid-level mobster who eventually leads Mrs. Tough Tony and her daughter out to God’s yacht.  God’s yacht is captained by mobster-film-legend George Raft.

Burgess Meredith is the warden of the penitentiary where Tough Tony gets himself sent to so that he can “kiss” one of the other inmates, played by Mickey Rooney.  Tough Tony’s cellmates are played by Michael Constantine and Austin Pendleton.  Pendleton’s character actually sends Tough Tony (plus, eventually, the entire prison population) on an LSD trip, complete with surreal imagery including a Rockette-like dancing number by a bunch of trash cans (really).

There are many other familiar faces, as well.  Roman Gabriel (former QB of the Rams), Harry Nilsson, and Slim Pickens play prison guards, Peter Lawford is a senator with presidential ambitions, Frank Gorshin is God’s man on the inside at the prison, and Richard Kiel (“Jaws” from the Bond films) is his muscle. 

For added strange-itude there are also film clips of Kirk Douglas and John Wayne.  And the whole thing was directed by Otto Preminger.  The finale of the film is a huge song-and-dance number involving Carol Channing leading a hippie invasion of God’s yacht, the denouement is God sailing off in a Hobiecat with Austin Pendleton while they share a joint (yes, Groucho with a joint), and the cherry on top is that the end credits are sung…even the boring ones, like Director of Photography.

 

Put that all together and Skidoo is one long, strange trip.  And it’s a trip worth taking, if for no other reason than the curiosity value.  As the film progresses, your eyes can’t believe what they’re seeing.  The images and actions of the characters are so unexpected and strange that you end up having to expand your mind to be able to take in what you are experiencing.  And that’s where the change comes from.  You have to open your mind, throw out a metric butt-load of preconceptions that you didn’t even know you had, and make room for the existence of something utterly unique and unexpected.

Not that Skidoo is without flaws.  It’s not really “great” in any one area, except maybe for its concept.  The acting, directing, screenplay, effects, and music are all good, but not remarkable in and of themselves.  It’s the combination of inspiration and execution that make Skidoo a film that should be seen by anyone with even the slightest interest in movies.

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I am not a Batman fanboy.  I am usually bored and confused by films based on comic books (calling them “graphic novels” is the ultimate in geek denial).  If I recall correctly, I have enjoyed one, or maybe two, of the films in this franchise, but not to any great extent.  I couldn’t really pick Heath Ledger out of a lineup and don’t really recall anything he was in before his untimely passing.

I had also gotten tired of hearing all the hype about this installment, and about the amazing, Oscar-worthy performance by Heath Ledger.  I went in skeptical, to say the least. 

I walked out a believer.

Heath Ledger gives a miraculous performance as The Joker.  The character is completely original, although I kept expecting him to come across as Nicholson (either in The Shining or as The Joker) or as Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange), but he didn’t.  Ledger’s Joker has to be seen to be believed.  His performance is absolutely worthy of an Oscar nod, and if I were a betting man I’d say he’ll end up winning.  He’s that good.

Most of the rest of the cast is solid, as well.  Michael Caine is dependable as Alfred, Maggie Gyllenhaal is a refreshing change from Mrs. Tom Cruiscientologist, Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman are spot on, and Aaron Eckhart gives a good performance as Harvey Dent.  And, believe it or not, Eric Roberts (yes, THAT Eric Roberts) gives a great performance in a smallish mobster role.  There’s even a pinch of gratuitous Anthony Michael Hall and a fleeting dash of Cillian Murphy.

The weak link in this installment is Christian Bale, unfortunately.  It’s not so much that he’s bad, it’s just that he’s…lukewarm.  Tepid.  Translucent.  As Bruce Wayne he’s simply boring, and as Batman they’ve really pumped up the bass on his growl, to the point where it’s distracting every time he talks through his bared, gritted teeth.  I think the problem with his performance is more directorial than thespian, but his character just doesn’t have the requisite impact for a near-superhero.

It was also distracting how clearly it was seen to be Chicago standing in for Gotham.  They even had a cop played by Ron Dean, who was one of the two Chicago cops in The Fugitive (and then again in Chain Reaction), which simply added to the Chicago-osity of the mood.

The story is, well, simply a Macguffin to get the pot stirred up.  The action is good, the fights are good, and the effects are good, with the exception of the motorcycle, which just doesn’t move realistically (even allowing for the suspension of disbelief necessary for this type of film). 

Also, the ending of the film seemed tacked on and/or cut down.  After all of the machinations of the film, at the very, very end, just before the credits roll, Batman volunteers to be falsely accused of crimes so that he can be hated by the public and pursued by the cops, because, er…well, because…um…hm, well, he and Commissioner Gordon both seem to think it will help make Gotham a better place, because…uh…let’s see…so, if Batman is now seen as bad, while still trying to do good, but is despised by the public and hunted by the cops, that’s good because…er…well…hm.  I have no clue, but I guess it had to end that way because of something in the comic book, but it was really shoehorned into the end of the film abrubtly, and it was almost clumsy enough to spoil the whole thing.

Luckily, Heath Ledger as The Joker is good enough, and bad enough, to transcend idiotic Hollywood studio machinations and make the film memorable and a near-classic.

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Here you will find a very sporadic catalog of announcer Alan Kalter’s non-sensical and hilarious David Letterman intros:

Friday, 7/25/2008: And now… gateway to the Rockies… David Letterman!

Thursday, 7/24/2008: And now… creepy lighthouse keeper… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 7/23/2008: And now… crime-fighting barber… David Letterman!

Tuesday, 7/22/2008: And now… troubled X-ray technician… David Letterman!

Monday, 7/21/2008: And now… amiable drifter… David Letterman!

Friday, 7/18/2008: And now… broadcasting from the snow-topped peak of Kilimanjaro… David Letterman!

Thursday, 7/17/2008: And now… a guy we knew would never amount to anything… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 7/16/2008: And now… the number one name in pet food… David Letterman!

Tuesday, 7/15/2008: And now… satisfied DeLorean owner… David Letterman!

Monday, 7/14/2008: And now… a man who’s asking for your vote for county coroner… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 9/26/2007: And now… a man who answers to the name “Lucky”… David Letterman!

Tuesday, 9/25/2007: And now… muscular, scarred foundry worker… David Letterman!

Monday, 9/24/2007: And now… Marcel Marceu’s protege… David Letterman!

Friday, 9/14/2007: And now… New York’s crime-busting governor… David Letterman!

Thursday, 9/13/2007: And now… a man produced in a facility that processes nuts… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 9/12/2007: And now… elderly scam victim… David Letterman!

Tuesday, 9/11/2007: And now… a man who wants to withdraw his guilty plea… David Letterman!

Monday, 9/10/2007: And now… the latest must-have device from Apple… David Letterman!

Friday, 9/7/2007: And now… a man who left $12 million to his kittie… David Letterman!

Thursday, 9/6/2007: And now… the man who’s patrolled the sidelines in Happy Valley for 42 years… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 9/5/2007: And now… interim Idaho senator… David Letterman!

Tuesday, 9/4/2007: And now… a man whose presidential campaign has raised over 85 million dollars… David Letterman

Thursday, 8/31/2007: And now… pinch-hitting for John Smoltz… David Letterman!

Thursday, 8/30/2007: And now… disgraced Idaho senator… David Letterman!

Thursday, 8/23/2007: And now… pitching coach for the Baltimore Orioles… David Letterman!

Friday, 3/3/2006: And now… mutated virus strain… David Letterman!

Thursday, 3/2/2006: And now… shown with optional touring package… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 3/1/2006: And now… the human equivalent of a dry persistent cough… David Letterman!

Friday, 2/24/2006: And now… Canadian Backyard Wrestling Spokesman… David Letterman!

Thursday, 8/4/2005: And now… the tri-state area’s favorite corpulent sportscaster… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 8/3/2005: And now… disoriented vaudevillian relic… David Letterman!

Friday, 7/29/2005: And now… good hygeine advocate… David Letterman!

Thursday, 6/30/2005: And now… author of the landmark book ‘Dianetics’… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 6/29/2005: And now… the perky blonde who’s the talk of women’s tennis… David Letterman!

Tuesday, 6/28/2005: And now… Japan’s number one television personality… David Letterman!

Monday, 6/27/2005: And now… price-fixing petroleum titan… David Letterman!

Friday, 6/24/2005: And now… vegetable rights activist… David Letterman!

Thursday, 6/23/2005: And now… lobbyist for Big Sugar… David Letterman!

Wednesday, 6/22/2005: And now… unlicensed daycare provider… David Letterman!

Tuesday, 6/21/2005: And now… leading economic indicator… David Letterman!

Monday, 6/20/2005: And now… a man with 6 megapixels… David Letterman!

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Just over a year ago we purchased a Westinghouse 47″ LCD HDTV (Model TX-47F430S) from Best Buy.  This model is priced at the cheaper end of the spectrum, but it seemed to fit our requirements (reasonably good picture, reasonably cheap, from a trustworthy brand name).

The bottom line is that we love the picture and the features, but some of the fit, finish, and quality are lacking.  We expected this because of the lower price, and are happy (so far) with the price-performance compromise.

The Good
First, the good things.  The picture quality is excellent and sharp, and the highest resolution is 1080p, which is the highest HDTV standard resolution.  I’ve heard rumors that Westinghouse has changed to a different LCD panel for this same model number for the new sets being produced, and that the new panel isn’t quite as bright and sharp, but don’t know that for certain.

The connections are also great.  There are four HDMI connectors for HD content.  There is a PC monitor port which allows you to drive it has a super-high-resolution PC/server monitor, and also takes the sound output from the PC as well (great for PC gaming).  It has composite and component/S-video inputs as well.  You can get more technical specifications here.

We have several things hooked up to our TV, as follows:

Regular definition cable TV via TiVo: We get regular cable TV programming through a cable box, which feeds our dual-tuner TiVo, which feeds into one of the component inputs of the TV.  Movies that are broadcast in widescreen can be expanded to fill the entire screen and look really good (but not as good as true HDTV, of course).

HDTV via DirectTV: We also have DirectTV in order to get the NFL and other (selected) sports in HD.  DirectTV only goes up to 1080i, which is interlaced and not quite 1080p, but is still super sharp looking.

Computer: We have a computer hooked up which we can use with a wireless keyboard/trackball, allowing us to display anything PC-based on our television in very sharp resolution.

Wii Console: The Wii console is connected via the component interface and looks good, but not great.  This is a function of the Wii, however, not the television, as the Wii doesn’t support any native high-resolution formats nor HDTV, so it looks a little pixellated when scaled up on our 47″ TV, but still fun and playable.

Overall, the good is really good on this television.  But unfortunately it’s not all good…

The Not-So-Good
There have also been some annoyances with this set, as follows:

• The Closed-Captioning simply does not work.  It gets a few of the words/text, but it’s very jumpy and misses random parts and just doesn’t work.  We rarely used captions, but sometimes it’s nice to have the news on with the sound down and the captions up, so that you can still read what’s going on without the noise intrustion, or when watching a quiet movie that you don’t want to blast the sound way up.  This is a nagging issue, but not bad enough for us to have tried returning the unit, and we didn’t discover until about 90 days in, meaning we couldn’t just go back to Best Buy and exchange it, we would have had to have done some kind of swap with Westinghouse, and would have almost certainly gotten a refurb unit to replace our brand-spanking-new one.
• The PC input doesn’t auto-center the input.  When we switch to view our PC, the video is about 25% of the way moved to the left, leaving a fat wide black bar on the right.  We can jump into the TV’s menu and hit “Auto Adjustment” under the PC options, and it quickly centers the picture properly.  However, we have to do this EVERY SINGLE TIME WE SWITCH TO THE PC INPUT, which gets very annoying.  Again, it’s annoying but fell into the category of “to be expected at this price” for us.  Also, the audio input from the PC has a background buzz if you turn the sound up.
• The remote control doesn’t work well from 10 feet away.  You have to be really close, like 7 feet, for it to work reliably.  This tends to defeat the purpose of a big television that you sit back from to enjoy the splendiforous big picture.  It’s even worse if you’re off to the side and not dead-on center when using the remote.  Again, something to be expected on a cheaper television, but annoying.
• On the regular TV component input, the televison occasionally doesn’t sense that there is a sound channel input, and so sets the status as “no input detected” (or something like that) and won’t play the sound.  We have to switch away from the TV input and then back to get it to recognize the input correctly.  Annoying.
• The audio is two-channel stereo only, so no 5-channel surround experience.

Overall the not-so-good parts are more annoyances than anything else, and each of them individually could be expected for the low price.  However, combined together they make us unsure if the annoyance was worth any cost savings.  However, all these annoyances could be moot because we are now having a REAL problem…

The BAD
Two weeks after our warranty expired (that’s right, two weeks), our television developed a bright green line of pixels down the left hand side, which shows on all inputs and even shows when the TV is powering up.  I have been on the phone with Westinghouse and they have confirmed that it’s a repair issue, but only after first telling me that it was “pixel memory” and making me turn the TV off and unplug it for 24 hours.  A bright green line is NOT pixel burn, but they wouldn’t proceed until I tried it.  Now I’m going to have to fight with them to see if I can get a waiver to get this repaired for goodwill or something, since the it’s out of warranty.  I don’t have high hopes.  I’ll post the results back here when all is said and done.

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