CleverDonkey.com …Musings, Commentary, Opinions, and Drivel

Wall*E is the story of a little robot who does a big job – cleaning up the Earth and saving humanity.  He’s the last of his kind, left behind by the entire human race who have gone to live in the stars, at least for a while.  It seems that man had finally filled up the Earth with so much trash that it wasn’t fit to live on any more, so they built an army of Waste Allocation Load Lifters – Earth-class, or WALL*Es, and set them to gathering and stacking all the garbage.  Meanwhile, the humans blasted off to live in luxurious, automated, sterile, giant space stations while the robots put the Earth back into a livable state.

Unfortunately, the job was too big even for an army of robots, and over hundreds of years all the machines started breaking/dying/shutting down, until only one is left.  Wall*E spends his days gathering trash, compacting it into cubes in his belly, and stacking it in gigantic, skyscraper sized rows of refuse.  Wall*E is happy in his work, sentient, romantic, and a collector of stuff.  When he finds interesting things he takes them back to his house, and watches old movie musicals to pass the time.  Think “The Omega Man”, only with a plucky robot instead of Charlton Heston, and no mutants.  Oh, but there is at least one cockroach, and he and Wall*E share a symbiotic relationship.

Then, one day, out of the sky comes a huge rocket, which lands just long enough to leave behind a little egg-shaped robot to search for plant life.  She is Eve (Environmental Vegetation Evaluator, I think), and her sleek whiteness and technological advancement make Wall*E look like broken-down Tonka truck compared to the latest iPod/iPhone/iBot/iPhaser/iBrain.  She relentlessly combs the area for some sign of plant life, and blasts any perceived threats with what appears to be a phased-plasma flipper.  Wall*E is, of course, smitten, and manages to survive Eve’s defenses long enough for her to figure out that he’s not a threat.

And just as soon as Wall*E starts working his romantic mojo on Eve, she discovers a plant that he has been nurturing and then things get weird.  Eve goes into some kind of extended hibernation until the rocket returns and takes her away again.  Wall*E stows aboard and gets taken with Eve up to one of the human spacecraft, and that’s when the story really gets started.

Suffice it to say that both true love and the fate of humanity hang in the balance of the story, and the tale is funny, exciting, heartbreaking, and ultimately…well…happy.  What else would you expect from Pixar?

The animation of the film is flawless – not that it’s faking reality or anything.  You know that it’s animated, but it is achingly well done.  You don’t notice that it’s animated, and are quickly immersed in the reality of Wall*E.  It also takes quite a while to realize that Wall*E doesn’t really talk – he can sort of squeak and squeal in an electronic fashion, and kiiiind of form some simple words, but he sounds kind of like what I imagine R2D2 would sound like after a poorly taught crash course in English.  Coincidentally, Wall*E’s “voice” is done by Ben Burtt, who also did the beeping and booping for R2D2.

The story in the film is nearly epic – one pure soul’s quest for love, with the saving of an entire species as the mere backdrop.  My emotions ran the gamut, from happiness and laughter to awe and wonder to tension and excitement to…yes…even a sniffle or two.  And poor Mynagirl, about 15 minutes in I looked over at her and she was already sobbing at the mere anticipation of the perilous quest that Wall*E would surely soon be facing.  After the movie, Mynagirl chatted with her sister who had also just seen Wall*E and who had also sobbed through nearly the entire thing. 

It’s not that the film is maudlin, or anything, but it is emotionally powerful.  Wall*E is loveable and diligent, curious and intelligent, romantic and brave, and so pure of heart that he makes sure his pet cockroach gets a daily Twinkie (which you may never eat again after seeing this movie).  If you replaced the animated characters with human actors, Wall*E could easily be considered one of the greatest space operas ever filmed.  It probably should be considered as such, but the animated nature may make it so that the film establishment only sees this is a kid’s film, which would be a shame.  It could (and should) rank up there with Star Wars, Blade Runner, Galaxy Quest, Alien/Aliens, Idiocracy, and 2001: A Space Odyssey in the pantheon of great sci-fi.  Picture a stew of those films, with a dash of Charlie Chaplin and a pinch of E.T. and you’ll get the ingredients that Wall*E combines and even sometimes transcends.

But it will also still work for your kids, too.  The movie is hilarious and a sight to behold even if the young’uns don’t quite understand why the adults start laughing when “Thus Spake Zarathustra” plays during a key dramatic sequence, or when they figure out that the voice of the ship’s computer is none other than Sigourney Weaver.  Pixar has managed to walk the tightrope between the profound, witty, and poignant adult elements and the funny, loveable, scary kid elements, without doing a disservice to either.  However, know that if you were to change the right 30 seconds of this film, it would become one of the most tragic stories ever told. 

The bottom line is that Pixar has topped themselves yet again.  This is, by far, my new favorite Pixar film.  Take someone you love and I personally guarantee that by the end you’ll be smiling, you’ll be clapping, your eyes will not be dry…and you’ll be holding hands. 

Wallleeee!

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When I heard they were making a big screen version of the Iron Man comic books (sorry, graphic novels don’t exist, losers) it felt like a body blow – yet another crude and artless raping and pillaging of our cultural history by Hollywood in pursuit of dollars.  Then I heard that the lead was being played by…Robert Downey, Jr!??!?  Um, I’m sorry, I’m afraid I didn’t hear that right…did you say Robert Downey, Jr. would be playing Iron Man????  That…doesn’t make any sense…at all.  I mean, once I thought about it, it sounded slightly interesting, but what in the world were the Hollywood studio execs thinking?  You have to have a big name star to go in your big budget picture with the big special effects and the big promotional tie-ins so you get the big box office with a big early summer season opener…

…right?

Well, then I found out that it wasn’t produced by a “major Hollywood studio”, it’s actually the first major motion picture produced by Marvel (the comic book folks).  And the director?  None other than Jon Favreau, who is about as unlikely a director of a big-budget, special-effects-laden, summer-blockbuster movie as Downey is as the star.

So then I started to get mildly interested.  But that always happens to me as the summer blockbuster season approaches, and I am disappointed about 95% of the time, so I was still skeptical.  Then I started hearing early reviews – and they were good.  And not the bought-and-paid-for-blurb-friendly-pabulum that gets associated with crap like Transformers, Cloverfield, War of the Worlds, King Kong, etc.  Actual positive critiques of the film by cineastes.

“Huh…”, I thought, with tremendous insight if I do say so myself.

When the film opened yesterday I found myself really wanting to see it – however Mynagirl was just returning from out of town, so schlepping out to see a movie would have been near-torture for her during her post-travel recovery.  But, we both wanted to see it and vowed to attend the first screening today (the Saturday after opening).

Which we did…and it was magnificent.  Go and see it right now – in fact, stop reading and just go see it.  Then come back here and finish this review.  One and only one caveat – this film is based on a comic book, so, well, don’t expect it to be super-realistic.  It’s a comic book story, right?  Go in with that mindset and you won’t be disappointed, because Iron Man transcends what I’ve come to expect from big-budget comic book films.  Robert Downey Jr. is perfectly cast in the lead.  The rest of the roles are also superbly cast, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard, and Jeff Bridges.

The screenplay is intelligent and funny, and the story is engaging.  Yes, the bad guys are a shade stereotypical, but Tony Stark (Downey’s character) is a conflicted hero.  He’s the brilliant son of one of the key players in the Manhattan Project, as an engineer he’s a prodigy, and as a man he’s a charmingly arrogant lothario.  He takes over his father’s company and turns it into gigantic weapons manufacturer, always turning out the latest and greatest technology that the military needs (or at least wants badly after seeing his demonstrations).

Yes, he’s a merchant of death, but on the good side.  Or so he thinks, and thereby hangs the tale – I’ll say no more about the plot because even though this is a big-budget movie with dazzling effects, it’s actually kind of story-driven.

Speaking of the effects, they are also near-perfect.  They aren’t used too little or too much, they appear on screen in what felt like just the right proportions, and they are done with subtly understated mastery, meaning that you don’t get jolted out of the story by cheesy looking effects, they just work perfectly within the context of the story.  For those who want nothing but wall-to-wall effects, this film may not fulfill that jones, as the heavy rocking doesn’t get started until what felt like 45-60 minutes into the story. 

The final scene is particularly satisfying, and be sure to stay all the way through the end credits for a hint as to whether or not there will be a sequel (duh!).

All I can say is, if there is a sequel, I’ll be first in line.

Update 5/11/2008:  Iron Man kicked Speed Racer’s butt at the box office this weekend!!  And this was Iron Man’s second week in release, while it was Speed Racer’s opening weekend!  Hahahahaha!  You may wonder why this makes me happy when I have no direct involvement in either production, but I am filled with glee to see the Wachowski brothers (creators of Speed Racer) fail so spectacularly.  They created “The Matrix”, which SUCKED, but which somehow hypnotized unsuspecting moviegoers into thinking it was good, leading to several sequels and endless imitations – so many, in fact, that it derailed moviemaking for several years, much to my dismay.  Plus, if even half the rumors are true, the Wachowski’s are a couple of freaky weirdos.  So, a big-budget failure of such stupendous magnitude is just what I think they deserved, and maybe will stop them from making any more movies.

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We live in a small country town (Brenham, TX – population ~13,000), and love it.  One drawback, however, is that there is only a single movie theater here, six-screens showing the absolute worst of Hollywood crap…we call it the Yokelplex.  There has been only one exception, which is when they showed Gone With the Wind on the big screen in partnership with a local community theater that was staging a play about the making of the movie.  But other than that – a constant parade of dreck.  For example, here's the current playlist:

• 21
• Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who
• Drillbit Taylor
• Leatherheads
• Nim's Island
• Superhero Movie
• Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns

Not every movie on that list is execrable, but most are, and none are compelling enough to get my entertainment dollars.  We've been to see maybe 5 or 6 films at the theater, and we've lived here for a year and a half and I *love* going to the movies.

What does this have to do with In Bruges?  Well, nothing directly, except that we had to drag ourselves into downtown Houston (90 minute drive, to the sadly decaying Angelika Theater – more on that at the bottom of this article) in order to find a movie worth seeing.  And, to me, this is indicative of the drought of good films being produced by the mainstream American film community.  Are there occasionally good American films?  Yes.  However, most of the mainstream films are simply horrible.

At one point we were so desperate for movie entertainment that we took a couple of weekends to visit the Yokelplex and see the films that were most highly rated by the combination of RottenTomatoes and IMDB.  One weekend it was The Spiderwick Chronicles, which we knew was primarily a kid's movie, but I've got an open mind and have loved many "kid" pics, such as The Incredibles.  Well, Spiderwick was so bad that we walked out, something we rarely do.  It wasn't really bad, it was just incredibly derivative and boring.  As are most mainstream films that we are able to go see.

However, In Bruges, is a different story altogether.  We had seen some brief trailers for it, and it looked kind of like an action comedy, and it is…sort of.  But it's much more than that.  First of all, it's so well written that it shames virtually every American film we've seen in the last few years, with only a few exceptions like Michael Clayton, Superbad, and Stranger Than Fiction.  Second, it defies expectations at every turn – and not in the in-your-face, clonk-you-over-the-head, artless manner of most mainstream American films – but in subtle, unexpected, and even frightening ways.

I really don't want to talk too much about the film because I don't want to spoil it.  Suffice it to say that Bruges is the name of a city in Belgium, and Colin Ferrell and Brendan Gleeson (who also played the father with the little girl in 28 Days Later) are a team of London underworld types who head to Bruges to escape the heat from a recent job.  I'll say no more about the plot of the film, other than to say that it does contain more violence and intensity than is apparent from the marketing and trailers that I've seen.

Colin Ferrell, Brendan Gleeson, and the rest of the cast are superb…SUPERB.  I normally don't care for Colin Farrell – but I have to admit that he does an excellent job here – so good that he deserves an Oscar nom.  So does Brendan Gleeson.  So does the writer/director, Martin McDonagh.  However, I fear that this is the kind of movie that the Academy will overlook.  First, it's not from an American production company.  Second, it's both funny and serious – which tends to confuse Academy voters who seem to like to nominate movies for Best Picture only if they are NOT comedies and only if they are clearly serious films.  And third, well, the taste of the Academy sucks so far this century.  I'll love it if I'm wrong when the nominations come out next year, but I'm not holding my breath.

The bottom line – if you like films that are perfectly cast, tightly scripted, superbly acted, exquisitely directed, action packed, funny, and also serious, go see In Bruges.

A note to local Houstonians – what the hell has happened to the Angelika Theater?  We hadn't been there in nearly a year, and the last time we were there its glory was starting to fade.  Today it was simply a sad, empty shell of its former self.  The staff were surly and uncaring, the refreshments and snacks were unremarkable, the air-conditioning was broken (or set to a hotter setting to save money), and the quality of the picture and sound in the theater was horrendous.  The Angelika used to be an elegant venue in which discerning filmgoers could enjoy a sophisticated night out – and now it feels like a shabby suburban gigaplex.  They still show interesting movies, which is good, but, sadly, the thrill is gone.

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I have a low-end little gas grill (Sunbeam Grillmaster 660) that we use for our weekend barbequing.  I used to be strictly a charcoal kind of guy, but I’ve been won over by the convenience and predictable heating of a gas barbeque grill.  There are some Texans who claim that *real* brisket can only be made over coals and/or wood, but I beg to differ.  I’ve been eating barbequed brisket my whole life, starting when we moved to a small Texas town in the 60’s, where my uncles would make brisket (along with ribs, chicken, and homemade venison sausage) for family gatherings.  Since then I’ve eaten brisket from just about every kind of barbeque joint and backyard cook you could think of.  And the brisket described here, cooked over a gas grill, ranks right up there with the best of ’em.

The brisket pictured here will give you an idea of what yours should look like.  Note the tray of charred wood chips on the left.  Also, only the left side of the grill is on, and the right side (under the meat) is off.  Also remember that the brisket cooks with the cover closed.  Click the picture for a larger version that shows more detail.

The Keys to Good Brisket

• Good meat – get a big chunk of uncooked, unflavored brisket, 10+lbs with a nice fatty side, just a big old slab of meat in a vacuum sealed heavy plastic package.  Do NOT use any of the pre-flavored, pre-smoked briskets for this recipe, and do NOT trim the fat off.
• Patience – prep time can extend overnight, cooking time is 6+ hours, resting time is nearly an hour and none of the steps can be rushed.
• Restraint – very little seasoning is needed, and the meat must cook virtually undisturbed (no forking, flipping, meat-thermometer-stabs, or manhandling – just gentle slow cooking and smoking).
• Non-violence – up until the time you’re ready to slice and serve the brisket, the meat should not be punctured or pierced in any way.  No forks, thermometers, unskilled tong use, flavor injections, slicing, scoring, tenderizing, etc.
• Practice – it will probably take a few iterations for you to get the hang of the nuances of your grill, tools, and preferences.

Tools and Such

• Gas grill with independent left and right side burner controls (only one side will be lit)
• Big roasting pan or foil pan, large enough to hold the brisket and tough enough to withstand grill heat
• Lots of aluminum foil (the extra-wide kind is better)
• Aromatic wood chips (mesquite, pecan, hickory all work good) plus small foil pan or metal tray to hold them
• Big, flat metal spatula to turn brisket while seasoning and move it without piercing the meat

Ingredients

• 1 beef brisket (10+ pounds), with a layer of fat at least 1/4 inch thick, preferably 1/2 inch thick
• 2 tablespoons coarse salt (kosher or sea)
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1 tablespoon white sugar
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon ground comino (cumin)

Remove brisket from packaging, rinse with cold water and pat dry.  Combine the dry ingredients in a bowl.  Sprinkle half the dry ingredients over one side of the brisket, then rub it into the meat by hand to spread evenly, including the sides and edges.  Gently flip the brisket over and use the rest of the dry rub on the other side the same way.  If you have the time, wrap the brisket in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2-4 hours to cure in the rub – overnight is better (curing is optional, it will still be flavorful if you cook immediately).

Light only one side of the gas grill and set it to low heat.  Soak wood chips (mesquite, hickory, or pecan) in water for 30 minutes, then drain and place in small foil pan (or other heat-tolerant metal container) and set on the grill directly over the side that is lit.

Place the brisket FAT SIDE UP in a large foil pan, or large roasting pan lined with two layers of foil, and place it on the grill on the side away from the direct flame heat. If you use a foil pan it’s still a good idea to line it with two layers of foil to ensure you don’t get any punctures, rips, or creases that the drippings can leak out of.  Make sure the thicker side of the brisket is closer to the flames than the thinner side, that way it will cook more evenly.   DO NOT cover the brisket with foil at any time during the grilling process.  Now, close the grill and leave it alone for 2 hours (DO NOT OPEN GRILL DURING THIS TIME).  After two hours, use a turkey baster to baste the brisket with the juices that accumulate in the roasting pan.  Baste every 45 minutes or so after that.  After three hours of total cooking time replace the wood chips with a freshly soaked batch.  Let the brisket cook with the grill closed (except when basting) for a total of 6 hours from the time you put it on the grill.  Remember, the brisket should not be lifted, turned, or punctured/pierced during the cooking process.

Remove from the grill, cover the brisket with foil tightly sealed to the pan, and let the brisket sit for 45-60 minutes, during which time it will re-absorb a lot of the juices and also undergo tenderization.  This resting period is very important for juicy, tender brisket.

At this point, if you have been patient and the BBQ Gods are smiling, you will be ready to enjoy delicious, flavorful, fork-tender, juicy Texas-style brisket.  Make sure to cut across the grain of the meat when you slice it, not with it – this one mistake can ruin an otherwise perfect brisket.  It’s easier to spot the grain before you cook and get an idea of which way the striations run, and you want to slice perpendicular to the grain.

Traditional accompaniments include potato salad, pickles, onion slices, and white bread.  If you want BBQ sauce, try for something sweet and not-too-vinegary, like this:

[stextbox id=”grey” caption=”Texas BBQ Sauce Recipe”]16 oz can tomato sauce
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup vinegar
3 tbs brown sugar
2 tbs onion powder
1 tbs garlic powder
2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
2 tbs brisket drippings (if you have them)
1 tbs coarse black pepper
1 tbs Paprika
1 tbs salt
1 tsp Tabasco sauce
1 tsp chili powder

• Combine all ingredients in a heavy sauce pan on the stove
• Slowly simmer for 30-60 minutes, stirring occasionally
• Adjust water and/or simmer time to get desired thickness
• Serve warm on the side or over the meat, but do *not* use as a baste for the brisket while it’s cooking

Optionally, the onion powder and garlic powder can be substituted with fresh, use 1/2 an onion and 2-3 garlic pods, pureed.  If you choose fresh onion/garlic, I recommend preparing it the day before, chilling it overnight, then reheating the next day – this takes the edge off the fresh garlic and onion and leads to a smoother taste.  Also, since you probably won’t have drippings the day before making the brisket, you can substitute in a teaspoon of Liquid Smoke.
[/stextbox]
Enjoy!

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First and foremost, go into this movie with the realization that it is Rated R, and heartily deserves it.  If you are easily offended by nudity and/or sexual situations then you probably want to skip this film.  The scenes in question are not gratuitous and are germane to the plot, and are also some of the funniest scenes in the film.

And that's the key to this movie…it is funny…damn funny.  Judd Apatow and his ensemble have created another winner here, and it's looking to be a habit (Drillbit Taylor notwithstanding).  The screenplay was written by Jason Segal, who is also the star.  His character is a journeyman composer in the film and TV industry, but he happens to be dating the hot, blonde starlet (named, of course, Sarah Marshall) of a TV crime drama.  However, between her success and his professional mediocrity, she decides that they're "just going in different directions" and dumps him.

Peter Bretter (Segal's character, above left) tries several methods to cope with his broken heart, including sobbing, eating cereal, acting out at work, and nailing anything that moves.  Nothing helps – then a friend suggests that a vacation might be just the thing to break the funk.  Peter heads to a resort in Hawaii that Sarah had mentioned, and when he gets there who does he find?  Sarah (above, middle), of course, along with her new beau, the preening pop star Aldous Snow (above, right).

He also meets Rachel, who works the front desk of the resort.  As you might imagine, he and Rachel fall in love, but not without complications, of course.  All of the characters in this film seem like they would fit stereotypes from a hundred other romcoms, but they all seem to defy expectations by being more real and quirky than I expected.  Aldous Snow the pop star, in particular, really ends up differently than one might presume from his initial scenes.

And that seems to be the key to the Apatowian juggernaut – characters that feel real, that develop, and that are funny and poignant in ways that don't seem to be contrived for a film.  Now, I'm not saying that people in the real world would ever act exactly as these characters do in all situations – but it's close.  The characters also draw our instant empathy because of their familiarity, even Sarah.  She's not a demonized vixen, she's more like a confused person who let success go to her head, and now isn't sure how to act "normal" any more.

Jason Segal is the only credited writer for the screenplay, and if wrote all of it himself then it's an astonishing debut.  It was surprising and refreshing to hear snappy, funny dialog that didn't feel recycled or derivative – and he keeps it up throughout the entire film.

I'll wrap up by reiterating my opening warning – if you are offended by nudity and sexual content, you may want to skip this film.  I'll say no more other than to give you a quote from the film's producer, Judd Apatow:

"America fears the penis, and that's something I'm going to help them get over."

Don't say you weren't warned.

 

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Schön Ruhe Salon and Day Spa

Originally written April 7, 2007, updated March 28, 2008

706 Seelhorst
Brenham, TX 77833
(979) 421-6044
www.schonruhe.com
Quick disclaimer: since writing this original review I've become great friends with Lindsay and designed the Schön Ruhe website for her as well.  But my original review stands… this is a GREAT salon, by any city's standards.

Do What You're Born to Do

See, I'm a born programmer. I didn't quite realize it until I was an adult and, armed with a degree in the very touchy-feel field of Sociology, I found out that the best part of my job out in the business world was teaching myself how to program in a then-very-cutting-edge technology called Lotus Notes. After years of being in technology and loving the process of programming I realized that I loved my job and although Sociology was interesting, Programming was my passion.

Um, isn't this article about a salon, or something?

The point is, I was lucky enough to find what I was supposed to do with my life. And that's the joy of going to Schön Ruhe — Lindsay Scheel, the owner, is absolutely, 100% doing what she was born to do. She glows when she greets you, she radiates with joy as she walks through and checks on you at the pedicure station, bringing you a glass of wine (from a local winery, of course). She happily walks on air through the beautiful, welcoming space, checking on folks getting facials and escorting clients to the massage room. She has created a perfect salon — by any city's standard — simply because it is what she was born to do, and this perfect salon just happens to be here in quaint, picturesque, low-key Brenham.

The salon itself is well named. Schön Ruhe means "beautiful rest" in German, and Lindsey has completely created the whole salon around this concept. I've been in swanky salons (Urban Retreat in Houston — both the skin care center and the full salon), bare-bones salons (any number of acrylic nail assembly-line shops in Houston), quirky salons (Bogart's in the Heights) and friendly neighborhood salons (Heights Spa in the Houston Heights), but none of them compare to Schön Ruhe as an experience. It's the perfect mix of luxury, relaxation, unpretentiousness, and exactly-what-you-need.

Massages to Die For

I've become addicted to the massages there.  Both Barbara and Sheila are amazing!!  My last massage by Sheila was completely restorative… I walked in with every joint aching and I left relaxed and filled with well-being.  And no more sore joints.

Before coming here, I'd always liked massages but they were never worth the indulgence of money for me, at least none that I'd had before. But not only are the prices fabulous by Houston standards, it's hands down (pun intended, I guess!) the best massage I've ever gotten. The room is so welcoming, a soft shade of not-quite-Robin's-egg blue with a tree and appliqued blossoms on the wall. The eyelet window coverings let in the exact amount of natural light, augmented by an old-world-feel chandelier. And the massage itself is heaven… and the therapists are so caring, making sure nothing's too hard to too soft, checking with you ahead of time for any injuries they need to consider or areas that need special TLC.  And as a perfect touch, the massage table is heated… removing one of my major objections to all previous massages, which is that as soon as I'm naked and on the table I'm cold and uncomfortable, and then I have to pee. I know that's not very delicately put but it's quite true, and it's made many a massage an unpleasant, tense, gee-when-will-this-be-over waiting game. Totally different at Schön Ruhe!

A Facial I Never Knew Existed

Prior to Schön Ruhe I'd gotten a facial at Urban Retreat before, and it was… okay. I mean, my skin was probably better when I came out but it wasn't an experience at all. It was actually sort of painful and the bright lights on my skin (they use this giant lens to light your face and pick at your pores) made my eyes water behind my closed lids. It was kind of like being at the dentist – uncomfortable and a little painful.

So imagine how unprepared I was for the facial at Schön Ruhe!! Yes, there was a little bit of lit face-picking (which is a good thing, actually), but it was SO relaxing! The room was very welcoming with warm tones, a nice-smelling candle, and the friendliest facialist on the planet, Carol. The experience was great… soft touches on my face to smooth the creams on, tea bags on the eyes, and a little mini-massage for my shoulders, neck, arms, and feet while the creams "set". Heaven! I'd never known a facial could be like that!

Since that first trip Carol's given me many a fabulous facial as well as expert eyebrow waxing. 

Perfect toes, perfect hands

Of course, the pedicures and manicures maintain the standard — the pedicure chairs are heavenly and Lindsey and crew place a high priority on sanitation (an issue near and dear to my heart). All metal tools used come out of an autoclave, each chair goes through a 10-minute sanitation cycle between clients, and the buffers/nail boards are all sterilized before your use. And it feels fabulous… you get the choice of sugar or salt with your scrub (to match personality, I guess? I like salt best!) and a dizzying array of fabulous Aveda potions and lotions that not only smell great but leave you with great skin.  Debbie is an artist, without a doubt the best darn pedicure and most perfect toe-paint job ever.

Although I'm generally a toe girl, I've done the manicure route a few times and they're great too!!  It's kind of a sumptious experience of mini-massage, skin conditioning, and having your nails look like you're actually a lady of luxury rather than a construction worker (maybe that's just me and my dishpan hands).

Crowning Glory: Hair

Of course, they do hair too. (Can you tell I've already been about a million times?)  Katie is such a sweet young girl at first you worry she's inexperienced, but one haircut will change your mind.  She is expert.  My hair comes out PERFECT every time.  And she's great at counseling me through my awkward-growing-out hair phase that I'm in right now. 

A Spa Gem in the Country

All in all I just can't believe it exists, and that I found it. It's such a high-end spa experience, I was surprised and amazed to discover it in sweet little Brenham. Top-notch services and facilities at prices that always surprise me (having cut my spa teeth in pricey Houston). What makes it so special, of course, though is Lindsay and the the entire staff and the care they bring to the entire place… from the paint and the decorations to the welcoming smile and the full attention to your every need, it just feels good to be there. You get to be part of someone doing what they love, and what they were born to do. And you just can't help catch a little of that joy when you're there.

Footnote: Now Aveda!!

I didn't think it could get any better.  But if you'd asked me a year ago when I started coming here what could possibly make Schön Ruhe any better, I'd have been hard-pressed for an answer.  But now it's AVEDA, which is without fail my very favorite kind of salon.  They must put an addictive chemical in their product, because I — who am so sensitive to smells I can tell if my daughter has put on perfume when she's still in her bedroom — love how Aveda salons smell.  And how my hair looks after the full-on Aveda experience.  So fabulous, can't recommend it highly enough!!

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First off.  Let me just say:

If you have never heard of a particular Beatles song, especially a HUGE Beatles song, like 'Hide Your Love Away', you should not admit this.  You sound like an idiot.  You do not sound like a singer.  You sound like a dope.  And every time you repeat this fact you sound more and more stupid.  Mentioning that you picked it out from the title.  That you heard it for the first time today.  Etc.  You sound like an idiot.  I weep for the future.

Aside from that, our contestants had a little vapor lock having to face the gigantic sheer unscalable rock face that is having to attempt not only a Beatles song, but another Beatles song after having either:

1. Captured lightning in a jar and given a fabulous performance last week against all odds
2. Embarassingly fell on his/her face after running smack into said giant unscalable rock face last week

Either one is painfully awful to contemplate.  I suspect our contestants may have rather wished to move onto Styx Week or Guns N Roses Week or Poco Week or Phoebe Snow Week or Vanilla Ice Week or Leo Sayer Week or anything other than Beatles Week, again.  Just too hard.  Only one person really knocked it out and that was David Cook, rockin' it out Peter Frampton style on "Day Tripper".

• Amanda Overmyer – Did "Back in the U.S.S.R." and should have wrapped her raspy voice around "Oh Darling"
• Kristy Lee Cook – Did "Hide Your Love Away", and… well since Chikezie stole the only Beatles bluegrass song, not sure there was a good one for anyone who doesn't know the freaking Beatles songbook.  Special extra awful points for the Kohl's basement bargain dress and bad boots.
• Michael Johns – Did "A Day in the Life" (which is way too disjointed for Idol-ization), and should have rocked it out with that great vocal control and picked "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window" or "I've Got a Feeling"
• Brooke White – Did "Here Comes the Sun",;should have done "For No One"
• David Cook – Did a ROCKING version of "Day Tripper" and honestly it was great.  He could have done that rocker's scream on "Helter Skelter" (not that they would have let him, Manson Family tie-in and all that), but I can't argue with how he freaking rocked what he did pick.
• Carly Smithson – Did "Blackbird"; should have done "Blackbird" softer and sultrier 
• David Archuleta – Sang "Long and Winding Road" admirably but he might should have tried "She's Leaving Home" (risky especially because it's a linear narrative but he can surprisingly feel some of those songs)
• Jason Castro – Did "My Michelle", should have done "Norwegian Wood" or even "Revolution" (the slow version)
• Syesha Mercado – Sang "Yesterday", should have lost her voice again instead.  Judges on TV liked it but two sets of droopy donkey ears here at the CD household.
• Chikezie – Sang "I've Just Seen a Face" decently if a bit disorganizedly, but probably should have taken a wicket swing for the bowler (or whatever Britishism is the equivalent of "swing for the fences") with "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" 
• Ramiele Malubay (who knew she was still in this contest?) flat-noted her way through the snoozer of "I Should Have Known Better" but "Can't Buy Me Love" might have been more her style — still a lightweight choice but maybe it would've been less silly.

Our pick for goner this week is Ramiele or Kristy Lee Cook.  Please for the love of all that is holy, let poor sweet, adorable, undynamic Kristy Lee Cook go back to her horses and family in Oregon.  I think she'll be happier.

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There is much to like about this new generation – their concern for the earth, their desire for world peace, their continuation of the legacy of horrible teen musical tastes.  These Millenials, also known as Gen Y or the iGen, are beginning to enter the workforce and public life, and are bringing with them a demand for meaningful careers, work/life balance, world betterment, and the guts to stand by their principals, even at the expense of risking their socioeconomic status.  I find that refreshing and much more admirable than the conspicuous consumption of the 80's and 90's.

I don't agree with everything they do, however.  The proclivity for tattoos, piercings, and other body modifications confounds me.  Part of it is a matter of taste, and there's no accounting for taste.  Also, preferences are not absolutes, and although I unequivocally dislike their self-mutilation (my interpretation), I also realize that it is, for the most part, harmless in the larger scheme of things.  Will most of them end up regretting their youthful indiscretions?  Undoubtedly.  But the long-term consequences aren't dire, particularly since it will be an entire generation.

I also lament, as all older folks do, their tastes in music, books (if they even read them), film, art, and culture.  But that's the same song our parents sang, and their parents before them, ad infinitum.  Again, no dire long-term consequences.  Same with drug use (who am I to talk, I grew up in the 70's, man!) and casual sex (who am I to talk, I grew up in the 70's, man – er, but without rampant AIDS/HIV/Hepatitis/etc).

In short, the older I get the truer the statement "youth is wasted on the young" becomes.  They waste their time on things that are of no import, and ignore the real stuff of life.  Just like I did.  Just like all young people do.  That's part of life.

But there is one area with which I take an absolute exception, and that is that they are continuing the horrible legacy of smoking.  What in the name of all that is true and good are these kids doing perpetuating such an absolute evil in the world?  They want to halt global climate change, save the environment, move to cruelty-free foods and products, feed the hungry, and do all sorts of absolute good things.

But they support tobacco companies.

They either refuse to accept or don't care that tobacco companies are merchants of death.

They either refuse to accept or don't care that even the United Nations sees tobacco use as a human catastrophe as big as, or even bigger than, global warming.

They either refuse to accept or don't care that while they support a better environment and less cruelty to animals, they blithely fund tobacco companies, whose executives and scientists routinely test their products like this:

Poor smoking beagles.

A short non-smoke break for one…

Smoking monkey…

A monkey and a rabbit take a smoke break (and break your heart)…

Sad little puppies…

Stop for a moment and put yourself in the place of one of these animals.  A little beagle puppy, bred to trust and love humans unconditionally.  Ripped away from your mother by callous scientists (doing the bidding of their tobacco executive masters) who immobilize you in little holding pens, ignore your wagging tails and imploring eyes, day after day, week after week, year after year, and strap devices to your head, forcing you to breath tobacco smoke day after day, week after week, year after year, until you either die or get sick enough that the experiment ends, then callously toss you aside for a fresh batch. 

You know they aren't testing the flavor, because why would a Beagle being forced to smoke care how it tasted?  What they're doing is testing to determine just how dangerous their products are to health.  And so they force these poor animals to smoke, sometimes until death, so they can learn from the autopsies of their poor, imprisoned bodies exactly how many toxic chemicals they can put into their products while still allowing their human customers to live long enough to provide the maximum profit.

Okay, I get it.  You don't care about the harm you're doing to yourself.  You don't care about how nasty and offensive smoking is to those around you and the world in general.  You don't care that tobacco companies are evil and make their profits by hooking the young all around the world, while killing off their parents.  It's all about choice, right?

In the above pictures I see tobacco companies choosing to torture and kill innocent souls, and I see poor, scared animals who have no choice.

Enjoy your cigarettes, you rebels.

 

 

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Week four – Top 12 – 3/11/2008 (Lennon / McCartney)

Wow. Talk about something to LIVE UP TO!!

Outstanding:

• Chikezie rates a HOLY COW. That was amazing with the bluegrass start and the crazy upbeat stuff and some great vocals
• Carly Smithson was the best of the night, doing a great rock out of “Come Together”
• Brooke White was clearly nervous and having a hard time playing to the crowd from behind the piano but freaking feeling it, which is what the Beatles are ABOUT. She did a great heartfelt “Let It Be”.
• Michael Johns rang clear as a bell with “Across the Universe”. As Engineerboy put it, “you’ve got to be naked to sing that song”. I think he means emotionally naked, so I agree with that for sure. I couldn’t believe the judges didn’t love that performance, it was strong and really moving.

Good:

• Jason Castro – Did a really good job with “If I Fell In Love With You”. That song is a lot harder to sing than it sounds, and he did a great job.
• David Cook – Eleanor Rigby was rushed and didn’t need to be rocked out — until the Chorus that is. The chorus was really good and kind of saved a why-did-he-do-it-this-way performance. Not bad.

Ennh:

• Ramiele Malubay – In My Life is one of the greatest John Lennon songs ever. Boring rendition and the crazy cocktail dress and spectator pumps were distractingly dressy for such a low-key song.
• Amanda Overmyer – This almost worked. It was a good song choice but Simon was right, it was hard to understand her. I think I only liked it because I want to like her and I already knew the song. If I hadn’t heard the song before that would’ve been a muddly mess.

Augh

• Syesha Mercado – Murdered “Got to Get You Into My Life”. Horrible. Soulless. Off key.
• David Hernandez – Hated the Ferris Bueller look. Hated the runs. Hated the cheeseball dancing around. Totally imagined him as a gay stripper. Sorry, dude. That was awful.
• David Archuleta – I would not have thought he could do badly. His voice is so pure but he was 100% uncomfortable trying to do a jazzy rendition of “We Can Work It Out”. I’m glad he’ll be here for another week. I think he tried too hard not to be what Simon called “gloomy” but we would’ve loved to hear his angel voice on “Yesterday”.

God-Awful

• Kristy Lee Cook yodele’d it up with a horrendous Kentucky Headhunters-esqe bluegrass-and-methamphetamine version of “Eight Days a Week”. To her credit, it was the first time she’s looked comfortable and her voice actually sounded good. But that was absolutely beyond words awful.

Week three – 3/4/2008 (The Eighties)

Uh… sorry. Too much work last week! Apologies for the slack off. We lost Luke Menard (no loss), Danny Noriega (that boy makes Barry Manilow look like Clint Eastwood), Kady… uh… Somebody-or-Other (oh, Kady Malloy, I love TiVo) and perky-but-too-hard-to-Google-you-anyway Asia’h Epperson.

Week two – 2/28/2008 (The Seventies)

Click here to see our recap of this week’s performances by the women.
Click here to see our recap of this week’s performances by the men.

Standouts this week

Young’un David Archuleta risked a John Lennon and did an amazing job — especially for his age. And Carly Smithson for the women was the only female singer who showed up for 70’s week, apparently.

Facing Elimination This Week – Boys

Luke Menard and Jason Yeager were probably this week’s weakest men. I bet they’re out.

Facing Elimination This Week – Girls

Hard to pick. So many were so awful. But the Donkey household speculates that we’ll see no more of Ramiela and Kady after the round of voting.

Who Got Voted Off This Week (with Broken-hearted Pic Badness)

Jeez, good thing we’re not trying to make money in Vegas. We only had a 25% prediction rate this weedk. Here’s who ACTUALLY got their walking papers:

Jason Yeager – Goodbye!

Alexandrea Lushington – Goodbye!

Alaina Whitaker – Goodbye!

Robbie Carrico – Goodbye!

Week One – 2/21/2008 (The Sixties)

Click here to see our recap of this week’s performances by the women.
Click here to see our recap of this week’s performances by the men.

Tonight the remaining Idols performed a medley of 60’s songs – very lackluster. The show also showed the world premiere of Paula Abdul’s new video, produced by Randy Jackson. The combination of music, singing, dancing, and video production showed that Paula is still a pretty good choreographer……………………………..

We lost four Idols tonight, and quite frankly my only concern was that our three or four favorites remained and didn’t really care much about the rest. I mean, I feel for each one and their broken dreams, but hey, the show gave them publicity they would never have gotten before, which gives them a better chance of living their dreams.

One of our faves was actually in the bottom four for the women – Amanda Overmyer – but she was safe for the evening. The fact that she was in the bottom four women was surprising, but she made it to next week so whew!

As for the rest, here are tonight’s eliminated Idols:

Garrett Haley – Goodbye!

Amy Davis – Goodbye!

Joanne Borgella – Goodbye!

Colton Berry – Goodbye!

Well, I can’t complain about any of these eliminations, although we thought Joanne would go a lot farther in the competition, but she really sang poorly last night. The other three were just not good and their elimination seemed logical.

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I haven't been this happy about the outcome of a football game in a long time.  The cheating New England Patriots *LOST* to the Giants in the Super Bowl.  They did *not* achieve their undefeated season.  They did *not* join the 1972 Miami Dolphins in perfection.  They lost, like all cheaters eventually do.

Belichick didn't even have enough class to stay on the field to see Eli Manning take the final knee.  This from the coach who ruthlessly ran up the score unnecessarily against opponent after opponent.  From the coach who cheated his way to victory, including rumors of filming the Rams walk-through before the 2002 Super Bowl, which the Pats "won" in an upset.  But could he stand there like a man and take the loss when it was him on the losing end?  No, he slunk off like a pouting teenager to go cry in his room.  Go cry, emo coach.  Classless to the bitter end.

And frankly, as that last second remained on the clock, as confusion reigned on the field, and as Belichick slunk off, my one thought was that he was trying to somehow create a technical issue with the end of the game so that he could file some kind of complaint with the NFL about the outcome.  Given his actions in the past that type of conniving seemed to fit his style.  But the refs cleared the field, got the Pats players to come back out and officially ended the game normally.  Ha!

Now it's time for the federal government to bring the hammer down on these cheaters.  For those who question why the US government is involved, the answer is that the NFL has been granted a special exemption from anti-trust laws and are allowed to operate as a virtual monopoly.  As such, the government reserves the right to ensure that the NFL is presenting pure, untainted sporting events.

So the NFL needs to break the back of these losers, including (in my opinion) a lifetime ban for Belichick and the GM.  They have tainted the sport with their flagrant, blatant, indefensible cheating.  And if the NFL doesn't act then Congress needs to step in and do the right thing.

Oh, and congratulations Giants on the great, great win.  Eli Manning enters legendary status with that final drive, and his scramble on the long pass to David Tyree was nothing short of miraculous.  And then the top-of-the-head catch by David Tyree was almost unbelievable even though I watched it with my own eyes.  He *wanted* that ball and went up and got it.

And in so doing drove a stake through the heart of the bloodsucking, evil-doing Patriots.  And, at least for today, all is right in the world of sports.

 

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