CleverDonkey.com …Musings, Commentary, Opinions, and Drivel

Full Metal Jacket — This movie embodies all things I normally can’t stand — war movies, people shouting at each other, and yet it’s hypnotic and I can’t not watch it. It’s a shining example (so to speak) of Kubrick’s directorial skill. To this day when I see Vietnam-era movies with infantrymen moving through wastelands I keep waiting for that jangling rusty-swingset sound to come in and fray my nerves and am disappointed when it doesn’t. Plus, where else can you learn so many creative and voluminous insults?
The Princess Bride — How this movie ever even got made is beyond me. How do you pitch this to a studio? “It’s a humorous mythical period piece with periodic interruptions by a grumpy sick kid and his forgetful grandpa.” And it’s so pitch-perfect, every frame, every nuance, each expression and turn of phrase. It’s endlessly quotable, so full of warmth and humanity.

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Terry Schiavo passed away recently, 13 days after having her feeding tube removed. Depending on who you ask, one of the following is true:

Terry Schiavo has been in a persistent vegetative state for over a decade, and prior to her demise she expressed (on multiple occasions) her wish to never be kept alive as a vegetable.

-or-

Terry Schiavo has been suffering from an untreated bout of reduced consciousness that could have been treated if only her husband would have spent her settlement money on it.

However, if you track the timeline of this case and include the relevant public information, one thing becomes clear, and that is that nothing about this case is clear. As far as I can tell from the public record, every single doctor that has directly examined Terry Schiavo, including dispassionate, court-appointed doctors, have confirmed the medical diagnosis of persistent vegetative state. However, a handful

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The Time Has Come

I’ve been waiting to write this article because I wanted to have more breadth of exposure to yoga (and in particular this kind of yoga) before expounding to any degree on this exercise or this particular studio in an article on our web site. I wanted to try another hot yoga / Bikram yoga studio in Houston to be able to compare and contrast experiences. I thought maybe trying other types of yoga might be good, too… nice to have a range of experience before shooting one’s mouth off about something, especially something as trendy and popular as yoga seems to be at the moment.

However, the time has come for me to yap at you about yoga, and it has to be now. Despite the fact that I haven’t gone to any other studios yet. Despite the fact that I haven’t tried any

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Maria Rodriguez

Home: 713 413 1659

Cell: 832 875 8115

If you’re anything like us, you like having a clean house but hate housecleaning. Or you don’t have time. Or it’s a point of marital tension — differing definitions of “clean” and differing tolerances for “dirty”. To solve any or all of these issues you might be willing to give up a portion of your otherwise “fun” money to have someone (or some service) come in and clean up your house every so often, if only…

…if only. And there’s always the trouble I’ve had. If only you can find someone you like. Someone you trust. Someone who will come into your house and do a good job, and you can trust to be in your house with your things (and your pets!) but won’t leave you feeling like your personal space has been invaded. Truly

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So I went into this movie with elevated expectations. It was a martial arts comedy, a combination that I am predisposed to enjoy. I’m not a huge fan of martial arts movies, but I like them well enough, and I have enjoyed kung fu comedies in the past (Rumble in the Bronx, for example). I don’t really care for kung fu films (or other films, like The Matrix) that have characters participate in physics-defying fantasy fighting. I’m all for over-the-top choreography, but I prefer my martial arts to be possible under the laws of physics, even if highly improbable.

But Kung Fu Hustle has fantasy fighting in abundance, with different characters possessing different magical “styles” of fighting. In the context of this film I was okay with that conceit, but found the actual execution to be a bit cartoonish, with no attempt to hide the CGI-ness

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So, this movie could have been fairly good, if:

One of the characters didn’t just simply announce the upcoming key plot twist well before it actually happens.
Sean Penn didn’t spend the whole movie trying to act like a taciturn Clint Eastwood.
Nicole Kidman’s character (Silvia Broome) had managed to find a barette to keep her damn hair out of her face.
Sean Penn and Nicole Kidman had had any actual chemistry.
The level of incompetence of the Secret Service wasn’t so unbelievable (e.g. Kidman’s character eludes them when she doesn’t even know she’s being followed!)
The writers/directors/producers hadn’t chickened out and added a token white guy to the bad guy’s team.
The ending and denouement hadn’t been so trite and hackneyed.

Thankfully, thankfully, thankfully we don’t have to see the two leads lock lips or fall into bed with each other. They exchange some glances that I think are supposed to be smoldering, but looked more

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When I saw the trailers for Sin City I knew that I would hate it. The trailers showed that the film contained all of my least favorite film elements, to wit:

Film noir, which I hate with very few exceptions
Gratuitous use of black-and-white, including my least favorite subcategory of “certain things are still weirdly colorful”
Random characters (not superheroes) who casually break the laws of physics
Reverse-anachronisms, such as skyscrapers being modern-day glass and steel towers, but everybody still drives an old gangster car and wears snap-brim hats
Incessant smoking
Growling voice-overs
Every female character is young, beautiful, armed, tough, and dressed like a slut
Mickey Rourke
Nerds romanticizing their arrested adolescence by using the term “graphic novels” when referring to comic books

The only thing that would have made this film seem like a worse fit for me is if the characters were prone to breaking out into spontaneous song. But the above list still meant

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