Paris Hilton’s Pathetic Whining

Posted on June 1st, 2007 in Celebrities by EngineerBoy

First let’s all agree that Paris Hilton has never accomplished anything worthwhile, ok? Her “celebrity” status is the result of her complete willingness to prostitute her name and position as an heiress (not to mention her body and sexual escapades) in order to gain notoriety. That notoriety has gained her a reality TV show in which, if I’m interpreting the previews for the new season correctly, she entices six year old beauty pageant contestants into drinking champagne. How noble of her.

She supposedly has a singing career and an acting career, but both seem to be artificially created (certainly not based on talent), bought and paid for by her money and notoriety, and neither are noteworthy in any way. She calls herself a businesswoman, but her ventures into fashion and nightclubs have either gone nowhere or ended in acrimony and lawsuits. Meanwhile, in her shrewdness, she ignores her family hotel and real estate business where she might actually be able to be successful. Oh, and she also shrewdly never finished high school and instead got a GED. College? Nuh-uh, that’s not hot.

Also, she’s not really all that rich. Is she richer than me? Oh, sure – I’ve seen her wealth estimated to be in the $50 million range. That’s certainly enough on which to live comfortably, if one isn’t an idiot, but, well…you know? Early in her “career” I always wondered why she kept trying to land super-rich guys, like the sons of Greek shipping tycoons, as that’s not typical rich-girl behavior. Then I realized that while she is in fact a millionairess, she’s living the lifestyle of a billionairess. And if she is to continue to live in the style to which she has become accustomed, she needs a *rich* husband, and quickly. So, in essence, Paris Hilton is simply Anna Nicole Smith with a $50 million head start.

And now we come to her recent incarceration, which at its heart is based on her drunk driving conviction. I’ve noticed that “the media” makes almost no mention of this fact in the endless stream of stories about her jail time. They have turned the jail time itself into the story, not the crime behind it. And what, exactly, was the crime? It was threefold, as follows:

    Paris Hilton’s Journey to Jail

  • September 2006: Paris stopped for DUI, and she got 36 months probation, a suspended license, and agreed to attend an alcohol education program.
  • January 2007: Paris stopped and charged with driving with a suspended license.
  • February 2007: Paris stopped for going 70MPH in a 30MPH zone, did not have on her headlights even though it was dark, AND was driving with a suspended license.
  • May 2007: A judge took into account the above violations, coupled with the fact that Paris had not attended the alcohol education program as agreed, and found her to be in violation of her DUI probation and sentenced her to do her time behind bars.

Well, folks, that’s how it works. Probation is not a right, it is a privilege, a second chance, it’s the way the authorities are able to say, look, yes, you made a mistake, but just keep your nose clean for a while and we’ll call it even. But Paris could not be bothered to actually keep her committments or follow the rules, even if it meant keeping herself out of jail.

And now she screams and cries about how unfair it is that she’s behind bars, and she appeals to the Governator for a pardon. Well, pardons are for people who are innocent, not for people who are spoiled pop tarts. Paris has said she feels like a caged animal in jail. Uh, that would fall into the category of Duh! That’s the whole point. You break the law (and a big one at that, DUI), you express contrition, you agree to mend your ways, and you acknowledge that if you don’t follow through then you forfeit your freedom and the state punishes you with incarceration in order to protect the citizenry and also to motivate you to see the error of your ways.

Now after her early release and re-incarceration, Paris is saying that she is learning a harsh lesson, she recognizes she is setting a bad example for other young ladies, and that she will stop “acting stupid”. One hopes she is sincere and that the “stupid” was, indeed, an act that she can choose to turn off. However, I fear that she is simply saying the words her publicist has cooked up to try to minimize the negative impact on her “career”.

One also hopes that she has learned the lesson about how close she came to ruining her life, and perhaps the lives of other, innocent people, by driving while intoxicated. Does she see and understand the example of Lane Garrison, an actor from the TV show “Prison Break”? He was out partying, got tipsy, piled some kids (underage) into his vehicle to head to another party, then crashed and killed one of his passengers. He’s facing six years in prison, and a lifetime of guilt and remorse. And all he did was jump a curb going 50. Paris was going 70MPH in a 30MPH zone.

A couple of weeks in the county lockup? She’s getting off easy.

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