Mynagirl’s Oscar Fashion Report 2008

Posted on February 2nd, 2008 in Celebrities,Fashion by mynagirl

It’s Oscar Sunday again!!

We will be posting live updates during the broadcast all night! (Well… sort of live… we run about an hour behind on the TiVo cache to capture these images for your amusement. Do you see how we bleed for you, anonymous public? Do you SEE?!)

We hear Diablo Cody is wearing diamond shoes tonight but haven’t seen them yet. However, if they do appear, rest assured that those pics and MANY more will be posted throughout the evening and into the wee morning hours. Look for extra dishiness, cattiness, and typos as we get progressively more punchdrunk and actually drunk as I start to nip into the limoncello. 🙂


Top Honors

Jennifer Garner in gorgeous blackJennifer Garner softly swept lovlinessJennifer Garner

Okay, so I’m biased here because I we used to watch Alias (yes it’s true, okay, there, I admitted it), but damn she is just too beautiful. She looks fabulous, I love the soft messy hair, normally I would diss the black mermaid and collared necklace but she’s too great. I just love her dress! And she’s so nice, she name-checked her stylist when asked for ‘her secret’ to looking so great.

 

 

 

Hillary Swank gets her some VersaceHillary in one shouldered blackHillary Swank

Rocks the Versace, also earning high marks with black sleekness and illustrating the one-shoulder trend to come for the evening.


Couples Fever

Heidi Klum and SealHeidi Klum in her red gallianoHeidi Klum & Seal

Seal & Heidi looked dashing. Seal as always dapper in a conservative tux with a special shout out for the tiny curved-point collar (I’m sure there’s an official name for it but I don’t know what it is). Oh, and the back of Ryan Seacrest’s head as a lapel pin. Heidi showed up in a Galliano stand-up collar red gown that looked a bit like she was a villaness in a Disney flick but no matter; she was wearing it so that it would raise heart disease awareness and money by being auctioned off afterward for charity. All together now…awwwwww!

George Clooney and GirlfriendGeorge Clooney & Girlfriend

They said her name earlier but I don’t remember. But they are a dapper couple — I like how she matched her silver dress to his hair color! Seriously, though, I don’t recommend any floral prints at the Oscars, honey. You’re adorable but that dress looks a wee bit like a shiny couch. I’m sorry, it’s the truth.

 

 

 

Xenu has cursed you with a soul catcher of a skullcapXenu Xenu Skullcap Skullcap Travolta Travolta Scullcap Boy and Mango Girl (I mean, John Travolta and Kelly Preston)

Wow, this is a pair of atrocities. Engineerboy speculates that Travolta’s hair is actually just shoe polish delicately applied. I disagree, I don’t think it was delicately applied at all. Kelly P’s tropical marinade of a Cavalli dress isn’t actually bad if a little boring (I’m fairly partial to the orange tones myself) but it’s so hard to give that dress its due when it’s next to Barber-elly. Two emphatic sets of Donkey Ears down!! But we are entertained. Especially because we’re now into the Limoncello. We are really entertained.

 

Dwayne Johnson's hair may reveal a new religion?The Rock

Honarary mention here for The Rock. Although he’s not seen with wife/etc in this pic, we simply had to put him after John Travolta so you could see the duplicate skullcap.

 

 

 

Jessica Alba sports the Fraggle Rock FrockJessica Alba and Jim Henson

Jessica Al-boa, I mean, Jessica Alba, flaunts the full figure and drapes the bump in a garnet Marchesa frock that looks a bit like a Muppet was sacrificed for the cause. But we love her anyway because she’s cute and glowing with impending motheringness.

 

 

 

Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill rock the nerd revenge lookDouble Date Superbadness Lookalikes!!

OMG we are seeing double! Seth Rogan of Superbad fame and his lovely date in the low-cut bronziness are on the left, Jonah Hill who PLAYED Seth in Superbad. Rock on! Dig Seth’s date, too — boy, she really looks like she knows how to take a… oh, nevermind. This is a family website. But if you’ve seen Superbad feel free to crack up. Assuming my joke was funny, that is.


Redrum

Anne Hathaway red drapey one shoulder hoosefooseAnne Hathaway's shouldersAnne Hathaway

Man, like what is the trend for the one-shoulder dress this year? Anne sported the blood red flowery drapey Hawaiian lei version by Marchesa with an arm swoop, and a cute-but-not-too-cute fall of the hair. It’s a pretty dress and she’s a pretty girl, but wow does she look pale with that bright red color! Better than the spray-on-tan, though, right?? And props for the small elegant diamond earrings. (Kimora Lee Simmons could learn something here, see below).

 

Ruby Dee, rocking the red hoodRuby Dee

Ruby also rocks the red, this time in satin. We like.

 

 

 

 

Hannah Montana at the Academy AwardsMiley Cyrus

Miley showed up à la rouge as well, in Valentino. Nice, demure, cute and age-appropriate. Clever Donkeys approve. Just be thankful I didn’t make an Achey Breakey joke.

 

 

 

 

 

Katherin Heigl in the long red dressKatherine Heigl in one-armed red lovelinessKatherine Heigl

Girl just knows how to look good. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Love hair. Love makeup. Love jewelry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Helen Mirren in  RedHelen Mirren

Lovin’ the red. But the silver sleeves are a little weird. But still, she’s classy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Bow-ring

Amy Ryan in navy blue Calvin klein / one shouldered blahAmy Ryan

The “Gone Baby Gone” actress sported a boring but elegant navy Calvin Klein.

 

 

 

 

 

Amy Adams in Emerald Prouenza SchoulerAmy Adams in Emerald WonderAmy Adams

Amy Adams is truly beautiful, there’s just nothing like the natural fair-skinned loveliness of a true redhead, especially in emerald. Unfortunately, she doesn’t wow in this Prouenza Schouler dress, but that’s more about the dress than her. She’s gorgeous. It may also be a fabulous-in-person-but-boring-on-camera type thing — the dress, I mean.

 

 

 

Laura Linney Black, Strapless, Ho-HumLaura Linney

The dress has interesting lines (good bustle in the back, if you know what I mean and I think you do) but … yawn. I’ve already forgotten it and I’m still typing.

 

 

 

 

Keri Russell -- eat, b*tch!!Keri Russell

Too skinny, too beige, too boring. These ladies need to do the Cher-in-the-movie-Clueless-polaroid-check to see how that ‘cute dress’ actually looks on camera! I should be a stylist. Okay, email me at mynagirl@cleverdonkey.com to hire me.

 

 

 


Um… hunh?!

Here’s the section where we collectively snort and ask… okay, what were you thinking?!

Daniel Day Lewis, dude what up with the earrings?!Daniel Fey Lewis… I mean Daniel DAY Lewis

Wow, dude. Some guys can pull off the two earring look. I’m thinking like Egyptian Pharoahs about 3000 years ago and maybe Rob Thomas but only when he sings that hot latin song with Santana. But you, sir, I am not sure you’re in the camp of Dudes Cool Enough to Rock the Two Earrings Without Looking Decidedly Non-Hetero. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

 

 

omg what the hell is this thing, like, for real, sister?omg who on earth picked out this horror??Daniel Day Lewis’ Wife in Crazy Ass Bejeweled Black and Random Red Bow Strapped Super Weirdness!!!

And keeping the Day-Lewis clan in the running as the ONLY folks in this category so far, is… his wife! Okay, this is so far the odds on favorite of the night for bravest fashion choice. That is really and truly one of the most unflattering, ugliest, randomest, part-A-does-not-match-part-B-and-they’re-both-slapdashed-on-dress-C items of fashion I have ever seen in my young and hitherto sheltered life. I think my retinas are bleeding. I must move on. Cleverdonkey.com not responsible for screen burn or other pixelated injury to users’ computers because of this image.

 

Marion Cotillard models Sushi CoutureMarion Cotillard

This dress so almost works. Squint your eyes a little and it’s a beautiful silhouette on a beautiful lady. But why make a mermaid tail dress that you actually embroider fishscales on?! Was the designer afraid we wouldn’t get what he/she was attempting to evoke here? Disappointing, because this could’ve been the gown of the evening were it not for the salmon skin texture. Mmmm… now I want sashimi.

 

 

 


Oh, Honey.

Cameron Diaz full lengthCameron Diaz rocks the just got done with yoga pony tail with a boring seashell origami thingCameron Diaz

Ok, Cam, honey, was there not, like, a shower at the Bikram studio before you came to the awards? I’d love to give you props for the ultra-casual non-pretentious hairstyle, but, sweetheart, the Independent Spirit awards were yesterday. Let’s get some style going, hunh?!

 

 

Renee Zellweger looking seriously harsh with the comb overRenee Zellweger has pillbugs in her mouthRenée Zellweger

I know I should be kinder because she’s a local girl and all. But yet again I say. TOO SKINNY. Too stressed. Looks like she has a pillbug in her mouth (Engineerboy submits picture #2 as proof of said pillbugs). Gorgeous dress (presumably Carolina Herrera) but horrible Edward Furlong hairdo. I just wish I could give that girl some happy.

 

 

 

Help!  Jennifer Hudson is being strangled by her dress!At least she's rockin' in from the backJennifer Hudson

As a fellow well-endowed woman, I think I can safely assert that gathered white halter empire waist dresses are not for our type of figure, sweetheart. You look good from the back but that front view… harsh, girl. Way harsh.

 

 

 

Tilda Swinton channels David BowieTilda Swinton as Ziggy Stardust

This dress looks like it was made from the rayon you use to sew a dress pattern before you sew the real one out of silk. This dress looks like the thick rubber liner you install when you build a concrete shower pan. This dress looks like a shiny-wifebeater on the left and a Hefty bag on the right. This dress looks like her real dress ripped on the way over so she stole the upholstery on the ceiling of the limo. This dress looks like one of those suits that make you sweat to lose weight while you run on the treadmill. This dress looks like what the CGI department gives you when they need you to film a digital sequence where your body is engulfed by a giant blob. This dress looks like the inmate gown at a trying-to-be-ritzy mental hospital. This dress looks like the first dress a West Virginia lottery millionaire buys after she cashes in the winning ticket. This dress looks like a bullet-resistant Sari worn by a Welsh congresswoman at a state dinner in India. This dress looks like it was made out of the bolstering from Johnny Cash’s casket. This dress looks like it was recut from Tim Burton’s baby blanket.

Catching breath now. Don’t get me wrong, Swinton was freaking fantastic in Michael Clayton, and I think she’s brilliant. But that is one super freaking ugly dress.


The Young and the Restless

Saoirse Ronan in a Green 30s dress Saoirse Ronan

The young nominee wears a beautiful jade 1930’s-inspired chiffony thing by Alberta Ferretti. She’s absolutely adorable and sweet.

 

 

 

 

Ellen Page from Juno in the flowy blackEllen Page

The Juno star stays safe but that’s okay. We like the young ones to go conservative rather than outlandish. Too many Britneys in this world already. Bravo Ms. Page.

 

 

 

 


Backgrounders

Sometimes the folks wandering by have some fun and brave looks. Here were some of our faves.

That is one fuzzy purple thingPurple Furwrap’s Majesty

No idea who this is, but that is one furry purple thing that’s attacking her elbows.

 

 

 

 

Random backgrounder #2, also in purplenessGot my hand in my pocket and I’m waiting for my rocket to come…

I never have understood the pocket-on-the-formal gown thing. I mean, isn’t the point of an Oscar dress to be as smooth as possible?? I would worry about natural lumps showing through my gown without adding tailored ones!!! (Much less contrasting piping at the breast, under the breast, and at the waist!) Ohhh, and it’s purple, too. Tacky Lilac Trend Alert!!! We’re on a roll!

 

Some bright hairAnd now

appearing… the singer for “Blue Day”!

The Purple trends marches boldly on with this India Ink hairstyle in the background!

 

 

 

omg I SO LOVE YOUR DRESS!OMG I so, like, totally, omg, like, LOVE your dress!

I’m sure this girl is a nice person and may not necessarily deserve to be pilloried on some random website such as your correspondent’s, but this is a funny picture of said assumed-nice-person telling Jennifer Garner how much she absolutely loves Jen’s dress. Dig the whites of the eyes.

 

 

James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff, looking trippy dudeRandom Actor’s Wife with the Heavily Kohled Eyes (oh wait, James McAvoy and Anne-Marie Duff, whoever they are)

I’m sure this lady is actually lovely in real life, but purple went back on trend with the wackies with this dark indigo silk thing and some dark makeup that I’m sure is intended to look sophisticated but instead makes Random Actor’s wife look a bit like a strung out meth addict. But with better teeth and some bitchin’ earrings.

 

 

Gary Busey is Actually Insane

Yeah, That’s Right. You’re a BACKGROUNDER now, Mr. Busey.

Holy cow, live TV is hilarious and scary sometimes!! Gary Busey — seemingly born to go off-script at a moment’s notice, has a hilarious bit of presumably-alcohol-fueled interrupt-y badness as Seacrest gamely tries to field Busey’s off-camera shouted rant while simultaneously attempting to interview the lovely Jen Garner.

 

The Grab, The Surprise -- Gary Busey Molests Jennifer GarnerGary Busey, The Return

And it continued, with Busey babbling congratulations at Laura Linney and then grabbing Jennifer Garner and — apparently — kissing her on the neck. That was some class-A live-TV Gary Busey Academy Awards weirdness!

 

 

 

Gold sequin backgrounder Oh, Honey – Backgrounder Edition. Tsk Tsk.

Is that gold lamé or is it sequin? Is it live or is it Memorex? Is it Victoria’s Secret or is it Frederick’s of Hollywood? I do not know the answer, but I know she was asking the wrong question. Fo’ sho’.

 

 

 

Damn that's a yellow dressTweety Couture

Wow. That is one yellow dress. As a rule, normal women should definitely leave yellow dresses to angel-haired three-year-olds at Easter and sassy elderly black women who can pull it off without batting an iron-clad eyelash. I don’t think this woman is either of those.

 

 

New Jersey meets the North PoleThe Worst Coat in the Universe

LA must be like Houston, in that whenever the temperature dips below sixty degrees, the women who feel they must flaunt fur drag their poor pelts out of storage for that one or two days of conspicuous consumption that the tropical weather meagerly affords them. This is a particularly fabulous example, stolen from the exact same picture as Marion Cotillard… I don’t even have words to describe this getup. ‘Tacky’ doesn’t even do it justice. ‘Ugly’ would be kind. Unfortunate is the word that leaps to mind, although that word regrettably absolves this satin-gloved Clairol-haired black-hose-wearin’ star-gawker of a woman of any responsibility in said clothing choice. And she must be held responsible. Someone, somewhere, has to pay.


The Presenters

Ryan Seacrest in Dolce & GabbanaRyan Seacrest

Ryan Seacrest is going balls-out with a Dolce & Gabbana he-hopes-it’s-trendy black-and-chocolate-brown shawl collar tux with inky black tie and shirt. Brave one. But, he is Ryan Seacrest after all, so we’ll go ahead and cut him a little slack and say we like it.

 

 

Giuliana Racic is classy but undaring in amethyst Zuhair MuradGiuliana Rancic

Very reminiscent of Beyoncé’s Armani Privé from last year. Her amethyst-colored Zuhair Murad was nice but boring. Which I guess is what you want in a presenter.

 

 

 

 

Kimora Lee Simmons makes sure you can look at her boobs by having about a million crappy diamonds pointing at themKimora Lee Simmons

J Mendel gown was really flattering but the overload of diamonds-that-look-like-cheap-rhinestones just sort of killed it. I liked the million-dollar-hair clip but the other stuff was too much. Does this woman ever just trust her natural beauty to show through? I’ve never seen her when she wasn’t dripping in diamonds. C’mon girl, let’s downshift a bit and realize that sometimes just you can shine.

 

 

Jillian Barberie Reynolds is boring in zebra with weird earringsJillian Barberie Reynolds (Some Weather Chick?)

Tricycle-handlebar-streamer earrings too long. Zebra stripe chiffon boring. Yawn.

 

 

 

 


Major Nominees (and Winners) for 2008 Academy Awards

Supporting Actor

  • Casey Affleck in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”
  • Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men”
  • Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Charlie Wilson’s War”
  • Hal Holbrook in “Into the Wild”
  • Tom Wilkinson in “Michael Clayton”

Supporting Actress

  • Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There”
  • Ruby Dee in “American Gangster”
  • Saoirse Ronan in “Atonement”
  • Amy Ryan in “Gone Baby Gone”
  • Tilda Swinton in “Michael Clayton”

Best Actor

  • George Clooney in “Michael Clayton
  • Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood”
  • Johnny Depp in “Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
  • Tommy Lee Jones in “In the Valley of Elah”
  • Viggo Mortensen in “Eastern Promises”

Best Actress

  • Cate Blanchett in “Elizabeth: The Golden Age”
  • Julie Christie in “Away from Her”
  • Marion Cotillard in “La Vie en Rose”
  • Laura Linney in “The Savages”
  • Ellen Page in “Juno”

Best Screenplay (Original)

  • Diablo Cody – “Juno”
  • Nancy Oliver – “Lars and the Real Girl”
  • Tony Gilroy – “Michael Clayton”
  • Brad Bird (Screenplay), Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird (Story) – “Ratatouille”
  • Tamara Jenkins – “The Savages”

Best Screenplay (Adapted)

  • Christopher Hampton – “Atonement”
  • Sarah Polley – “Away from Her”
  • Ronald Harwood – “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”
  • Joel Coen & Ethan Coen – “No Country for Old Men”
  • Paul Thomas Anderson – “There Will Be Blood”

Best Director

  • Julian Schnabel – “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”
  • Jason Reitman – “Juno”
  • Tony Gilroy – “Michael Clayton”
  • Joel Coen and Ethan Coen – “No Country for Old Men”
  • Paul Thomas Anderson – “There Will Be Blood”

Best Picture

  • “Atonement”
  • “Juno”
  • “Michael Clayton”
  • “No Country for Old Men”
  • “There Will Be Blood”

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