A Day in the Life of a Typical American, or how I learned to stop worrying and not be hypocritical about ‘socialism’

Posted on August 16th, 2009 in Commentary,Engineerboy,Health and Fitness,Politics by EngineerBoy
Keep the Government Out Of My Life!

Keep the Government Out Of My Life!

A day in the life of a typical American:

Your alarm clock rings, having been powered through the night with an uninterrupted flow of electricity generated by a power company that is a regulated monopoly with great Salesforce Benefits.

Your alarm clock didn’t catch fire overnight, nor did any other product in your house, because their safety is regulated by consumer product watchdog agencies and federal trade regulations.

However, if you had somehow had an accidental fire, you could have picked up your phone (regulated monopoly) and called 9-1-1 (municipal service) and had the fire department (municipal service) on site within minutes saving your home and possessions.

As you move through your morning routine in your house, which is still standing because it has been built to meet building codes, you turn on your television and watch the news and weather channels, both controlled by the FCC.

You get an accurate weather forecast from the NOAA, which has gotten detailed satellite imagery from NASA, and see that today will be rainy.  Fortunately, your drive to work will be unimpeded because the local flood plain has been scrupulously mapped and flood control reservoirs and runoff controls have been established to protect you from all but the most egregious conditions.

You eat your breakfast, which doesn’t kill you because of FDA controls, and maybe take your medicines, which also don’t kill you.

You get in your car for your commute, secure in the knowledge that your government-mandated seat belts, air bags, and anti-lock brakes will help protect you from the weather, and your tires meet the government codes for handling on slick streets – as do the tires of all the other cars on the road.

The roads do not wash away in the rain because they are built to meet government codes for roadways, and you check the clock – which is 100% accurate because it is synchronized with the atomic clock at the US Naval Observatory via the nationwide radio signal – and see that you’ll make it to work with time to spare.

You drop your kids off at public school, then you stop for gas, secure in the knowledge that the gasoline is free from impurities and meets the operating requirements of your vehicle, and will be delivered via a mechanism that is 100% compatible with every vehicle on the road by virtue of governmental standards.

You live through the work day in an office that meets OSHA standards, and have your lunch in a cafeteria where the food is safe by virtue of regular inspections and staff training mandated by the government.  You get your paycheck, as guaranteed by law for the work you have performed, and head for home.

Your drive home is not interrupted by criminal activity or civil unrest, because the local police officers, sherrifs, constables, and guard forces ensure the peace and tranquility of society.  Also, when you arrive home, you find that your house has not been ransacked, nor has it been confiscated by a foreign government, thanks to the protection of our armed forces.

When you get home you see you got a couple of birthday cards, and then spend a few minutes leafing through new magazines, all delivered by the US Postal Service.  You take your dogs for a walk on publicly maintained sidewalks down to the public park and walk around the public walking trails, and stop to drink water from the public fountains and let your kids play on the public playground equipment.

You spend the rest of evening watching television on a system made up of completely interchangeable and compatible components, because the government sets the standards to ensure interoperability.  Later you surf the internet, which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration (DARPA).

You put your kids into their flame-resistant pajamas, adjust the temperature of your home HVAC system, secure in the knowledge that it will not poison your family with fumes or gases due to the safety regulations developed and imposed by the government on such appliances.

As you sleep, your money sits safely in a bank earning interest, and your principle is guaranteed by the government.  And you know that tomorrow your currency will be accepted anywhere and everywhere as legal tender for all debts public and private, a guarantee backed by the government.

But keep the god damned government out of health care, I don’t want them intruding into my life because they can’t do *anything* right!!!

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